Blog

Hubbub at the hub

29/6/2012

Kunming's brand new airport opened yesterday. ChangShui is the 4th biggest of China's 500+ airports and expected to compete with Bangkok to become the "hub of S.E. Asia" air travel. Jiajia had coincidentally booked her latest flight to Shenzhen on the opening day, so we decided to get there early for a look-see. It seemed fairly quiet - a lot of the people we saw milling around seemed there to take photos. But it did look amazing though - like a large golden bird taking off (though Jiajia didn't like the colour scheme!). And it's certainly huge - five floors high, with two runways and a urban light railway link which opened on the same day. Unfortunately, what used to be a 30 minute journey to the old airport will now become a 90 minute trek, which will make Ava's monthly trips to Shenzhen even more tiring. But when the new underground network is finished (still a couple of years away), it should get easier. Kunming is certainly a happening city!

Taken for a ride?

11/6/2012

When I married my darling wife, I always knew there would be "three of us in the marriage" (to quote Lady Diana), with Jiajia's mother living with us. I hadn't quite bargained for our needy fourth resident though. "Dorta" seems to get as much attention as I do and a lot fewer complaints. Her latest gift is a rocking horse which Ava spotted in Shenzhen and couldn't resist buying and shipping back to Kunming. Jiajia's spending habits tend to rise when I'm not around, and nothing is too much for her "Dorta"!

Extravagan claim

4/4/2012

Jiajia didn't often ask me for fashion advice in Shenzhen, but now and again I was able to explain some English phrase or even spot a fake garment. This T-shirt, for example, was being touted as an original, but a quick read gave me doubts. I pointed out the missing "t" in extravagant and the unnecessary capital "G" in Gave. I then had a good chuckle at the "costume being worm". Maybe it was silk?

Braced for a buffet

1/4/2012

We met up with some friends for a huge buffet lunch yesterday. We know Peter and Karen, next to Jiajia and I, from when they briefly lived in Kunming. They have two lovely kids, Connie and Cosmo [left and right, centre]. Poor Cosmo dislocated his neck 6 months ago jumping on a football (?!) and has had to wear a brace since then. The family were heading off for a holiday in Macau, but managed to meet up with us en route.

After saying our goodbyes, Jiajia headed off to the markets again to buy more stock for her store. It's always interesting to see her at work, picking out which items she thinks will sell, accepting some prices given to her immediately, while bargaining hard about others. She has a great rapport with all the shopkeepers, despite only seeing them briefly once a month. In this store, she persuaded the salesman to show me his monkey impression for the camera!

I say, I say, IKEA...

31/3/2012

Now I'm not saying Shenzhen's IKEA is huge, but there are....
 more bowls than a crown green tournament
 more beds than the Chelsea Flower Show
 more tables than a maths lesson
 more cups than Manchester United
 more lifts than a weight training session
 more pots than a snooker match
 more flat packs than someone moving apartments
 more chairs than after wedding toasts
 more multi-storey car park floors than a layered novel about the shortcomings of a goldfish boat (...think about it!)

IKEA'p breaking things

30/3/2012

Jiajia and I went to Shenzhen's IKEA store today. I still have nightmares about my only previous trip to a (UK) IKEA, but Jiajia sweetened this deal by starting me off at their canteen with a lunch of Swedish meatballs and cream cakes. Then we started the tour round, Jiajia looking for household items, me looking for Chinglish. This display toilet made me laugh. The sign tells customers it's for sale and to please stop using it! Only in China.

Now, regular readers may recall that I knocked a tap off the bathroom wall back in our Kunming flat last month. Well yesterday I managed the same feat in the Shenzhen flat where we are staying, turning off a balcony tap only to have it crumble in my hand. We had to call a worker in stop the gushing water and replace it. And then this evening I went one better, closing the front door to have the handle shear off in my hand. We sheepishly had to call the worker back to fix a new handle. And yesterday I also pulled a towel rack off the wall and exploded a light fitting. Am I particularly heavy-handed, or just jinxed? Ava thinks it's all an early April Fool's prank.

Fifth and final (for now...)

28/3/2012

Until today, Hong Kong was the only Disneyland I hadn't visited. But Jiajia and I are having a week's working holiday in Shenzhen (she's working, I'm holidaying) and a couple of days over the border in nearby Hong Kong enabled me to tick off my 5th and final Disneyland.

It was Jiajia's first visit, however, and she loved it. She does enjoy catching up on some of the fun she missed during a difficult childhood. Her favourite ride was "Small World" - indoor boats float past animated dolls from different countries singing and dancing. We had to ride it twice!

Hong Kong is a fairly small Disneyland (about the size of the one on Paris) and hard to get lost in [see photo, right]. A new resort in being built in Shanghai by late 2015 will be three times the size (and yet another one for me to get to!). We managed to pick a day when the crowds were light and the queues were short, so we got to see pretty much everything we hoped to. The afternoon featured a lively parade [see photo, below] but we left before the fireworks show. As Jiajia pointed out, "We live in China - we see fireworks every week!"

Dogs, crocs and dinos

6/1/2012

With Jiajia in Shenzhen, Ma-in-law visiting the hospital to dance (don't ask!), no lessons, and a cold, rainy day I decided to visit the "Kunming Zoological Museum". It's something I've been meaning to do since spotting it from a bus some weeks ago.

A smiley guard ushered me into the lobby and called over a curator who told me (in English, no less) that the museum was closed but, as it was only me and as it was raining, she would let me wander around anyway. The first exhibit [see above] made me smile. A dinosaur surrounded by seemingly unconcerned stuffed dogs. But better was to come [see below]. A collection of dogs surrounding a sneaky crocodile, perhaps eyeing them up for lunch!

Most of the museum was less bizarre, however - a range of dinosaur bones and various pinned, stuffed and pickled animals. It was definitely worth an hour of my time though, and I promised the kindly English-speaking curator that I would look into the possibility of bringing some of our schools' students there for a guided tour in English sometime.

ThROSE a Surprise Party

19/11/2011

My birthday yesterday started fairly quietly with Jiajia in Shenzhen on business and Ma-in-law having taken herself off to hospital. But once I was at school, I had some lovely surprises. Throughout the afternoon, many of the teaching staff came to my desk, one by one, with a single rose and lovely handwritten messages - 35 in all. I still don't know who co-ordinated that. Later, in the evening, while waiting for my students to arrive, I was told there was a last-second change of classroom. A bit annoyed at the short notice I walked to the new room, only to find my students, their parents and the school administration staff waiting for me with a decorated classroom, birthday cake, presents and a live guitarist playing! I was really taken by surrpise - a lovely end to the day.

Early birthAday presie

15/11/2011

(I spotted this nice "BirthAday" Chinglish in town this morning!)

Ava will be in Shenzhen for my birthday this year, and so she gave me her home-made card early. "TinTin" is one of the many names she has for me(!) and, of course, Spielberg's "TinTin" movie is about to be released too. I'm not sure the original TinTin had glasses though? She also gave me a new mobile phone to replace the one I had stolen earlier this month.

Crafty boxer

17/9/2011

Jiajia brought back a little flat pack craft kit from Shenzhen on her last trip there but, frustrated by instructions in Japanese, she soon passed it over to me to complete. Five minutes later I have the "tidy box" all completed (helped by a series of pictures on the back of the Japanese instructions. Don't tell her - I'm still basking in the glory of finishing it so quickly!). Hmmm... "flat pack craft kit" - now that's not easy to say!

Pan, sanpan and pram

6/9/2011

JIajia is back from her latest monthly business trip to Shenzhen, laden with the usual shop stock - mink coats, wedding dresses, shoes, clothes, handbags, etc. There should have been a box of leather coats too, but the courier company seems to have lost (or stolen?) this en route which is potentially a big financial loss for the store and therefore causing a lot of stress. Apparently "delivery insurance" is not common practice here.

Ava also brought back the usual mixed bag of "inspired purhases". I fear the charity shop experiences in the UK have left her vulnerable to any perceived bargains out there. Thus we now have a frying pan clock for the dining room, an ornamental sailing ship ("...it was the same price as the fridge magnet boat from Deal lifeboat station"!) and a pushchair for "Dorta", which Ava has been merrily racing around the house".

Storm starts, term ends

1/7/2011

I had my last Chinese lesson of the term yesterday with Mr Liu (right) patiently teaching us... [L to R] Ali (Palestinian), me, Sam (Pakistani English) plus [not pictured] Andrew (Canadian) and David (Hungarian). A very international group of students, then, and with varying skills and ability levels. Suffice to say, I would be better off in a slightly lower level class, if there was one!

Ava had a nightmare trip to Shenzhen. I left her at the airport at 8.30pm for her 9.30pm flight. But there was chaos due to a heavy incoming thunderstorm. She texted me at 2am this morning to say she was finally taking off (I was awake anyway because of the ferocity of the thunderclaps). She managed to arrive at her Shenzhen flat at 5.30am, due to catch a bus to her first factory at 7.30am! She must be exhausted, poor thing!

Wire we here?

31/5/2011

Jiajia and I were in ChongQing yesterday, applying for her UK visa. We had a scare to start with when, at Kunming airport, and purely by luck, we spotted that our two return flights had been switched. I was due to return to Kunming, but was assigned to a ticket to Shenzhen (to buy clothes for Ava’s store?) while Ava was due to fly on to Shenzhen, but was assigned to a ticket back to Kunming (to teach my English class?). It was the ticket agency’s fault, but they were reluctant to admit it and Jiajia had to insist they got us new correct tickets immediately. We have therefore lost £100 in re-ticketing costs but hope to be reimbursed later.

The visa process has taken Jiajia and I many hours to complete: finding, creating, copying and collating 50-odd pieces of paper required to support her application form. Britain doesn't make it easy for visitors from outside Europe! The actual "handing in" part took just half an hour though, so we had some free time in the city before our onward flights.

ChongQing is a dirty, untidy, noisy city [see the wiring in the photo above!] with typical weather conditions being smog, humidity and drizzle. Ava was very keen to try the famed ChongQing hotpot – the spiciest in China - and we found a nice place (complete with Christmas decorations!) that could do a half-and-half pot, so that I could eat in relative non-spiciness [see photo left]. It was a good meal, and much cheaper than the equivalent in Kunming.
We should find out the result of the visa application in 2-3 weeks.

Knot tied and not tired

23/5/2011

Despite finding ourselves locked into Ava's house this morning by her Mum (accident or sabatage?) we managed to escape (by throwing a key to a passing stranger!) and drive an hour through Kunming's suburbs to process our marriage application. Half an hour later, we paid the 9RMB fee (90p) and got our certificates. I'm technically a married man! It feels odd in some ways and much the same as before in others. I think it will be more meaningful when we celebrate it with friends and family later in the UK, and later still in Kunming.
(The early wedding photos aren't looking too good however! Heehee!)

My friend Emily is now frantically translating all of Ava's Chinese documents, after which Ava and I will fly to ChongQing at the weekend to apply for her UK visa. Ava will then fly on to Shenzhen to buy stock for her shop while I fly back to Kunming. Three weeks later, we should find out whether or not she has got a visa and, if so, we'll be flying to the UK two months today! Fingers crossed!

I swear it's true!

9/1/2011

Seeing Ava off at the airport (she's on her monthly trip to Shenzhen) always gives me to chance to hunt for new Chinglish. This time the airport had a shiny new sign showing travellers where to check-in by themselves and presumably, when it doesn't work ...cuss! Hehe!

Great minds...

15/12/2010

My 6 year-old shaver finally died the other week, scratching my face in the process. On a whim, I decided there and then to jump on a bus and buy a new one. I decided to buy a decent Philips one as the cheaper Chinese brands aren't so comfortable or long-lasting. Now Ava is a big fan of buying "quality" goods, so when she returned from Shenzhen I proudly showed her my purchase. Stony-faced, she silently left the room and returned with a wrapped Christmas present bought for me, she explained, on the internet a month earlier. Under instructions, I opened it and found another shaver. And not only the same brand and colour, but the exact same model! We'd not previously talked about shavers or, indeed, buying each other Christmas presents so what are the chances of that?

She's gone and left me

19/8/2010

Yes, just a week after generously agreeing to marry me, Ava left me today. Fortunately not for another man, or forever, but just for her monthly, week-long trip to Shenzhen (near Hong Kong) to buy stock for the Kunming fashion store she owns. As I'm still on holiday I was able to see her off at the airport this time. We arrived earlier than expected which was a great excuse to share (90%/10%!) a KFC meal. Too tempting a chance to miss out on, despite my current diet!

Smart girl

25/7/2010

My sister-in-law, Sarah, recently sent out a UK fashion magazine for Ava to peruse. There are Chinese versions of Marie Claire and Vogue here, but Ava swears their fashions and styles are different, and lag behind the West. Anyhow, Ava took the mag to read on the plane to Shenzhen where she goes each month to buy stock for her shop. Apparently she was quite taken by one of the jackets [see photo, left] and decided to track down the factory that makes Dolce and Gabana clothes for export. Sure enough, she found the exact same jacket for sale there at a fraction of the cost [see photo, right]. Smart girl - in more ways than one!!

From fruity mixes to croissants via handbags

5/5/2010

Shenzhen didn't disappoint for Chinglish. I loved the wild mix of things for sale in this department store [see photo above], and I'm sure "swinging acutely in the lift" is forbidden for very good reasons!

Aeroplane aerobics

5/5/2010

Ava and I flew back to Kunming today after our long weekend together in Shenzhen. One of the shops she showed me there sells western books and board games which are either "seconds" or production extras from the factories that make them for the likes of Marks and Spencer, MB Games, Dorling Kindersley etc. I managed to buy some very cheap reading books for my school, plus Risk, Dilemma, About Britain and Kerplunk board games for myself. Ava and I tried out the Kerplunk while waiting at the airport [see photo].

The flight back had a very surreal moment when the air stewardesses suddenly started leading an exercise session for the passengers. I couldn't help laughing, but many passengers took it very seriously [see photo]. Just when you think Chinese airlines are much the same as every other airline in the world, something bizarre like this happens!

Shop 'til you drop

3/5/2010

One of the main reasons to visit Shenzhen was to see Jiajia at work. She flies here every month to track down and buy the latest brand fashions eg Gucci, Prada, Armani, D&G, etc) for her high-end customers in Kunming. Now I have first-hand experience of the travelling she has to do between the factory outlets, her formidable bargaining techniques and the flat where she stays. It's tiring work and, for someone like me for whom clothes are simply a means to keep warm and avoid being naked, quite mind-numbing. But Jiajia has a keen sense of what her various customers will like, and which items will sell well and make the most profit. A real talent and a very successful niche market.

Boated and bloated

2/5/2010

The undoubted highlight of my trip to Shenzhen (apart from spending time with my other half, of course) was visiting this 40,000 ton decomissioned Soviet aircraft carrier, complete with MiG fighters, helicopters, tanks and missile launchers!

Dotted around the "theme park" which surrounds the ship are various items of military hardware and dozens of these bizarre soldiers. They look like statues until they suddenly move and you realise they are actually actors painted to look metal! This one took exception to me tapping his helmet (and their guns make a loud bang when fired too!) Still, not much fun for them wearing full combat gear in 30ºC heat.

The aircraft carrier itself sports a variety of weaponry, as well as it's complement of aircraft, and looks an awesome fighting machine. However, we'll never know for sure - it was decomissioned after 20 years service, having never been involved in any conflict! Down in the bowels of the ship, things get more surreal, with a 4D film showing a simulated attack on the ship (somehow including a swarm of rats and a mine railway!?) and then a great song and dance show recreating the transformation of happy Russian peasant farmers into Soviet soldiers who then all go off to war to get killed. Nice!

To finish the day off perfectly, Jiajia surprised me with a half-birthday treat at a fantastic, if rather expensive, steak restaurant. The lamb chops were delicious (a rare dish in China), the salad bars and bread were free and we both ate far too much.

Jiajia had endured, rather than enjoyed, the boat visit and, coming so soon after the "Dwarf Empire", she just kept muttering "Biantai laowai"... mentally disturbed foreigners!

Mayday mayday!

1/5/2010

Shenzhen was just a small fishing village until 1979, when it was designated a "Special Economic Zone". It's now a modern city with a population of nine million. With a few days off work because of the May Day holiday this weekend, I decided to fly to Shenzhen today to meet up with Jiajia, who has been there for a week already, buying stock for her shop. The contrast between the rampant consumerism here [see photo] and the drought and poverty in the villages I visited just a few days ago is quite stark. I find I mix in both circles, without being trapped or feeling comfortable in either. Sometimes it's quite unsettling.

Home and away

11/3/2010

Jiajia is away in Shenzhen (near Hong Kong) this week, visiting export factories to get new stock for her Kunming store. Before she left, however, she gave me a lesson on how to wash up properly, the Chinese way. It's a wildly complicated procedure (or so I insisted, so that she has to do it by herself in future)! And, having moaned for weeks about how shockingly short her hair had been chopped (after trying out a new hairdresser), she went and got it cut even shorter last week... women!?

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