Blog

Pain in the neck

27/2/2010

I returned to teaching this weekend after 6 months off. Sadly, some of my old classes have been returned to me with very few students left and, unless more join up, a couple of them may be cancelled. Student numbers often fluctuate, but I've yet to "lose" a class for lack of students.

My 5D "special talent" class [see picture] gave me a warm welcome back yesterday by spraying me with crazy string on arrival! To be fair, they had also decorated the class with Welcome signs and bought me some of my favourite dumplings and a big cream cake. Plus each had a brought me a gift from a recent holiday (Laos, Beijing, Dali, Canada, etc). Nice to be appreciated!

I've managed to get through my three classes so far on adrenalin and bloody-mindedness. But I've left each feeling totally wiped out, with neck pains, dizziness, chest tightness and headaches. I'll be amazed and relieved to get through next week's 7-day training course in one piece!

Breaking, aching, no shaking but some quaking

25/2/2010

Well it only took 3 soaking sessions before my bowl exploded, clearly not designed for a body my size! I was back at the hospital again today, however, this time primarily about the headaches and dizziness I've been getting over the last 5-6 days. The doctor agreed it was a neck problem and tugged my head this way and that to "realign the bones"! It was a bit nerve-wracking and painful, and left me with a worse headache than I came with.

He also prescribed a Chinese herbal medicine for "straightening the neck". The packaging also claims that it will nourish my kidneys, strengthen my brain, calm me AND energise me, cure sores in my waist and knee, help me remember things and sort out blurred vision! Sounds great, right? And made by "Jolly Pharmaceuticals"! The doctor also laughed out loud when I showed him the cream I'd been given for my skin infection by another Chinese doctor a few days ago. "That's for scalds and burns" he explained. So we headed off to another hospital for some other medicine he was sure would help.

We had a very noticeable tremor this afternoon - a 5.0 magnitude quake some 100km (60 miles) away. Klaxons wailed as our car park security guard shouted "Earthquake, earthquake!". Nobody bothered to evacuate though.

Cheeky

23/2/2010

My health problems continue. The shakiness I was getting seems to have stopped, but I've been suffering from a lot of headaches and light-headedness recently, which won't make my return to work this Friday very easy. In addition, I've had a flare up of a skin infection that started in the UK. The cream I was given by my British doctor hasn't really got to the "bottom" of the problem. I won't say exactly where on the body it is, "but" the remedy from the Chinese doctor today included soaking myself in a large bowl [see photo] of sterilised water twice a day. I was loathe to visit the hospital but a friend of a friend of a doctor let me jump his queue. "Cheeky", I know, but I am a busy (and itchy) man!

It's a dog's life

22/2/2010

I read today that the "top dogs" in Beijing are currently debating whether to pass a law making it illegal to eat dog - the end of a centuries old tradition in China. Apparently the new pet-owning middle classes are finding the custom increasingly "distasteful". It's a tricky decision - on the one hand it is a bit disconcerting to see a tail-wagging, tongue-licking "man's best friend" being taken on a last "walkies" from the market to the oven. On the other hand, dogmeat is jolly tasty!

Chinglish corner

20/2/2010

No visit to the Chinese countryside would be complete without spotting some classic Chinglish. For example, this guy is sporting some very authentic-looking Adidas jeans...

And then this sign was to be seen

all around the Confucius Temple. At first it seems a simple case of mistaking "u"s for a "v"s, but then they go for a fabulous "y" for a "r" mix-up too. Genius!

My personal favourite here still has me guessing. I'm thinking "Mythical Trade" for the title. But "SHOP LNG RLCE NOODLE OVER OVER THE BRLDGE BEVE RAGE TEA BBQ" is all just a bit too random...!

"Field" cold. "Cart" get warm. Oh "deer"

19/2/2010

Field
It's been really nice to be out in the countryside again. Being city-based now has definite bonuses (luxury food options etc), but my heart will always be in China's countryside. I've spent five years there, compared to just two in the city, afterall. Still, the odd dip into rural life keeps my city life real, and reminds me what's important in life. Teaching may be tough at times, but who'd want to swap it for a farming or litter-sorting career?

Cart
Jianshui's sunny and warm weather deserted us this morning. There was rain overnight and we woke to a very cold and cloudy day. Thankfully our sightseeing was done during the fine weather, and Ava and I leave for Kunming today. It's cold there too, apparently, but at least we can wear more clothes (I didn't even bring a coat on this trip!). On arrival at Jianshui's bus station we were told the next seats were for a bus in 5 five hours time. Thank goodness then for the

local black market - we were on our way within the hour for a small "fee". I'll take away fond memories of Jianshui, with its cobbled streets and horse and cart transport.

Deer
And life in rural China always brings it's oddities and confusion. My favourite on this trip was the "wheelchair and life-size deer" display in the chemist shop. Kudos to anyone who can think of a valid reason for that combination!

Visit tin villages

17/2/2010

Ava and I travelled into the countryside today to a small village called Tuanshan (pron: twarn sharn). It was once the thriving centre of a family made rich through the tin trade. The elegant courtyards, houses and theatre have given Tuanshan "World Heritage" status as well as being on the list of the 100 most endangered such sites. The nice thing about the place is that, although there were a smattering of tourists around, it is still very much a lived-in village. Some houses had little shops selling curios, another had turned their courtyard into a small restaurant, but generally life was unaffected by the trickle of camera-wielding outsiders. We were even invited into a couple of houses for a sit-down and chat, with no ulterior motive other than to show hospitality and stare at the foreigner close-up.

On the way back from Tuanshan, we stopped off at this magnificent bridge - one of only two such "17-arch" bridges in China (the other one being in Beijing)

Looking quite a bit older than it's actual 200 years, Ava and I were a bit perplexed as to why it had been built there. The central tower was apparently to guard the bridge from unofficial crossings, but it spans more of a small lake than a river. We walked back around the outside of the "lake" in under ten minutes. So why the need for an enormous bridge? It did seem a bit overkill!

Confucius or con UFO sshhh?

16/2/2010

Jianshui (pron: jen shway) is a small, well-preserved town about a 4 hour bus ride from Kunming. I last went there some 13 years ago, but only to visit teachers I was training at one of their schools. I also passed through the town about 2 years ago en route to the YuanYang Rice Terraces. I saw this gate (on a roundabout) then and decided to return and explore the old town sometime. So Ava and I headed there today.

Jianshui's two claims to fame are it's "chaodofu" (smelly tofu) and the Confucius Temple (one of the largest in China). I'm not a big fan of the former, but the Temple was very impressive - large, active and very well-kept (if expensive, at 60RMB or £6 a ticket). It also helped to be there on a warm and sunny day.

The highlight for me, though, was spotting this UFO hovering above the temple. It was a pinprick spot [see red circle] but, when I zoomed in on it with my camera, an odd and fascinating shape was revealed. Not very "aeroplane" or "balloon"! It stayed in the sky for some minutes, but when Ava and I glanced back after chatting about it, the object had completely disappeared. Very spooky.

Pagodas by the pund? Nothing is possible!

15/2/2010

Kunming (indeed, most of Yunnan Province) is suffering a severe drought this winter, with no rainfall for months now. The flipside, however, has been weeks of warm sunny days at a time of year when one would normally be wrapping up warm. Ava and I decided to take advantage of the sun and explore a local (but new to me) park. She wanted to check out the pagoda, while I was hunting for chinglish. Ava found her pagoda...

...and the chinglish was plentiful, too. Top left is a bin for "organisms", then (clockwise) a "Lotus Pund", an advert where "nothing is possible" and finally "non-religious transport for computer technicians"??

Happy New Year of the Tiger

15/2/2010

Chinese New Year kicked off here at midnight last night, to the sound of fireworks and crackers all over the city. Ava's flat is up a hill, so we were able to see an impromptu and adhoc display, building up to the usual 12 o'clock cacophony. This year is the "Year of the Tiger", here seen exiting a Kunming taxi!

Ava's Mum had been out earlier in the day shopping for food and had prepared all the ingredients... Ava than took over and cooked up a variety of delicious New Year speciality foods, which I was delighted to help them devour! We were all stuffed by the end.

Ava's only other relative, an adopted, and frequently inebriated, uncle managed to turn up just half an hour late for a couple of fags, a couple of bottles of beer and a bowl or two of food, before heading off to his friend's for more of the same! Today is also Valentine's Day (the next time it falls on Spring Festival Day will be in 38 years' time). Being our first, it was a particularly special day for Ava and I.

Spring clean

13/2/2010

Today is Spring Festival Eve, traditionally a day for cleaning out the house and preparing for the (Chinese) New Year. I like to think I keep my house fairly spick and span, but my wardrobe is always a collection of "piles" - this pile for warm clothes, that pile for T-shirts, etc. Ava's eye's lit up at this challenge. Working in a shop, she can magically fold a whole variety of clothes perfectly flat and symmetrical with the flick of her wrist. So within 5 minutes, my clothes looked like a shop display [see photo]. But will it stay that way?

Close encounters in Kunming?

12/2/2010

One of my all-time favourite films is Spielberg's "Close Encounters of the Third Kind". A really spectacular movie. The "first kind" of alien encounter is spotting a UFO. The "second kind" is physical evidence. The "third kind" is actual contact! So the other day I was interested to watch a new film called, "Fourth Kind", which suggests that alien abduction is the fourth type of contact, and alleges to be based on true stories. I was chatting to Ava about this when she mentioned that she has seen UFOs a few times near her house, and had photos of some of them on her mobile phone! I was intrigued...

...This one was a bright green light seen from her window, in a place where no light is usually to be seen. Ava took the photo on her phone and later spotted a streak of light across the sky beneath it on the photograph [highlighted red]. The green light faded and disappeared after a few minutes.

You can just about make out a hexagon shape in this photo. Ava spotted It floating above the Kunming skyline and snapped it on her phone. It hovered there for a while and then slowly "flew" off.

The most amazing event was one that Ava didn't manage to photograph. Reading a book by her bedroom window at 3am (she sometimes has trouble sleeping), she was disturbed by a bright yellow light in the sky, hovering about 10m from her house. It was rotating on its axis and gradually changed from yellow to white. Suddenly, it shot upwards into the night sky and out of sight. There are certainly some weird goings on in Kunming!!

Scrabble rabble

11/2/2010

I had a lovely evening yesterday with a couple of teachers from my school (one of whom, Peter, with his wife Monique, started while I was away) and some of their friends. It's always nice to meet new foreigners in town, as I tend to mix with Chinese more these days. It was a very multicultural affair with folk from England, USA, Holland, Greece and Australia. We met in Peter and Monique's 13th floor flat, with beautiful views over Kunming [see photo].

This was one of their semi-regular Scrabble get-togethers. We had just enough people for two simultaneous boards and there was a mixture of experts and newcomers to the game. It was a laughter-filled evening, especially when a sudden run of "less than wholesome" words appeared on the two boards (bum, wog, porn, hun, poke, tit, etc)! And modesty forbids me from mentioning the overall winner.

The great and the good

9/2/2010

When one of Ava's (rich) customers invites her out for dinner (and I'm allowed to tag along), you can be sure of a classy restaurant, great service and delicious food. Having a couple of dozen well-to-do customers vying for your latest Dior, Givenchy and Chanel garments means that only the best "bribers" get the chance to buy the best clothes first! Last night we went to a lovely old restaurant, serenaded with live harp music [see photo (L to R): harp player, customer texting, tea ceremony]. The restaurant's owner is also one of Ava's customer and, on seeing Ava's new jacket, wouldn't take no for an answer in buying it off her, there and then! It was, as always, nice to meet more of Ava's friends. A lovely bunch, full of fun. There was very little English being spoken which forced me to practise my limited Chinese and spurred me on to learn more during this coming year.

Still, at least my invites are a little more friendly than this one received by Robert the other day, with the Mayor of Kunming requesting the HOROR of his company!! What a difference a letter makes!

Reds red card. Blues blew it

7/2/2010

I had invited myself to Rob and Rachel's house (my bosses) this evening to watch Everton (my team - the Blues) play Liverpool (Rob's team - the Reds) live on his satellite-connected TV. It was the usual tough and frenetic derby match, spiced up by an early red card for one of the Liverpool players, and a late one for an Everton player.

My celebrations at the first sending-off [see photo] were short-lived however, as Liverpool quickly scored a scrappy, but winning, goal. Still, as Ava said later, "You lost the match, but you kept your job!".

I had been to a (dull) wedding before arriving for the big event. Rob and Rachel had been to a Foreign Expert's banquet earlier in the evening where, quite amusingly the "Robert Norfolk" namecard had been written as "Bobert Nofork"! Gotta love that!

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