Swat's going on...? 04/09/2010
 There seems to be an increased police and military presence in Kunming recently. At first I thought the teams of marching young men in camouflage were first-year University students doing their obligatory two weeks of "military training", and they might have been, but there seen to be more policeman around too and the flag-waving traffic officials have new uniforms and are being fussier than normal. Then, at the airport yesterday, picking up Mark (ex-VSO, ex-RSL) who is passing through Kunming on the way from Britain to Wenshan, I saw this fearsome-looking vehicle parked outside, marked as "Airport Swat Team". So maybe something really is up? Perhaps it's the anniversary of some long-forgotton dissent or uprising? Maybe North Korea is about to make an announcement about its new leader? Or maybe my imagination is running riot? We'll see... China's got toelant 02/09/2010
 I recently read that China now exports the same quantity of goods every 6 hours that they exported during the whole of 1978!! Well currently one very successful import is a certain British TV show, here rebranded as "China's Got Talent". I don't watch it myself - too much screechy singing - but the main talking points this series, apparently, have been a guy who had to undertake a medical check to prove he wasn't a girl, and a young lad who can play piano concertos with his feet [see photo]. It all goes to make Susan Boyles seem positively normal! Invasion of the body lotion 31/08/2010
 I've recently been moaning at Ava that her various lotions and potions have been slowly taking over all the space in my bathroom, bedroom, even the kitchen. War was formally declared this morning, however, when I went to brush my hair and found this rather unsubtle invasion of cosmetics [see photo]. I'll let you guess which half of the dressing table is ...was... nominally mine! Hot busy 30/08/2010
 The chemists opposite my bedroom window woke me up today. This is one of their occasional "advertising" blitzes. Music blares out, shop assistants shout things from loudspeakers, there are balloons for kids and doctors taking OAP's blood pressure for free. It really is an appalling racket, and it can last for days. I quickly worked up the courage to pop in on my way to the gym and give them a few choice words (I have been known to unplug their loudspeakers in the past - the silence lasted less than a minute, but made me feel better). However, on arrival, I saw an increasing long queue forming outside [see photo], drawn by the noise, colours and, presumably, free gifts and discount purchases. I decided my planned protest wouldn't go down too well. This is a classic example of what the Chinese call "hot busy". Shops blast out music or recorded slogans to draw in customers. Many shops place a worker on a box outside their shop just clapping thier hands to make noise. And incredibly, and sadly, it seems to work. My Chinese friends say they love the excitement and thrill of shopping amid a barrage of noise. I'd prefer "cold lazy" to "hot busy", but what can you do? Dying to know 28/08/2010
 One of the most infuriating, yet fascinating, aspects of living in China is the regular posters that appear around the city. Some warn you that your balconies are about to be demolished, others prescribe which dogs you are allowed to keep as pets, most are simply incomprehensible to me. This poster [see photo, right] showing 48 faces appeared everywhere around town this week. After some investigation, it seems these are the "most wanted" murderers, armed robbers, drug dealers and women traffickers in Yunnan Province. The poster encourages them to give themselves up, and offers rewards to anyone with information leading to their capture! Cool! Now to find out what this "multiple choice" poster [see photo, below] that appeared on the door of my flat's is all about....  Some rest 'n a semester 27/08/2010
 A new term starts today. We had the regular "whole school meeting" yesterday followed by a big meal. The school appears to be developing fast - based at 5 sites now (compared to two when I joined 3 years ago) and offering 3 languages (only one when I started). One of those languages will be Mandarin (for Western students) which I hope to take advantage of. My Chinese is pretty rubbish after 8 years here! The" start of term" meeting seems to get bigger every time. I probably know the names of about half of the 80+ staff, but a fast turnover makes it hard to keep up. Great Wall, great blog 26/08/2010
 Since leaving "nearby" Simao, the LEAF family have been based in a rural village near Beijing, by a seldom visited part of the Great Wall. Despite their remoteness and how busy they are keeping themselves, they have been able to keep their blog up to date, even finding time to revamp it and start a spin-off blog for their two girls. It's really well worth a visit. Just click here Roll, stir and squeeze 25/08/2010
 Robert and Rachel (owners of the school where I work) are always very willing to share the spoils of a visit to the UK with us eager foreign teachers! My usual request for a pork pie wouldn't have worked this time as I was on holiday when they returned and it would have gone off. But they were kind enough to compensate with a large pot of Marmite, some unexpected, but welcome, custard sauces and a dozen very useful large dice. Quite a haul. Thanks guys! We're jamming 24/08/2010
 Bizarre news is slowly filtering through of a whopping 100km (62 mile) traffic jam outside of Beijing which is taking drivers nine days to get through! I kid you not! So no more moaning if you get delayed by half an hour on the M25!! Apparently drivers are complaining that "locals are over-charging them for food and drink"! I think I'd be complaining about a whole lot more if it were me! Expensive free fabric conditioner 23/08/2010
 When Marie moved back to France, she passed on lots various leftovers for me to use up. Some were very useful such as folders, lightbulbs and my computer table. Others were more of a mystery to me such as garlic/ginger, mouthwash and fabric conditioner! And now the latter has cost me more than I knew. I tried adding half a cupful of fabric conditioner to my latest wash and, before I knew it, there was ridiculous amounts of foam pouring out of the machine and then a loud BANG! My landlord has since arranged three visits from an electrician and apparently he'll need to replace most of the electronics! So that's the last time my fabrics get conditioned (whatever that means)! |  AuthorPaul Hider lives and works in China and regularly blogs about his strange life there
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