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Grumpy old man?

30/4/2011

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I'd say I have a happy life here in Kunming, but harmonious? Hmmm...
The never-ending noise really gets on my nerves at times. For example, the two chemist shops over the road from my flat who seem to compete with each other using automatic megaphones to blast out their latest deals, over and over again. More than once I've gone across and simply disconnected their machines, shouting at the owner that I can't sleep, work or hear my TV! It's most unlike me to be so aggressive! They usually turn the speakers back on after I've left, though often at a lower volume for a while at least. And the other day, the blare from the shops was joined by a placard-waving shop assistants parading down the street to advertise some deal or other [see photo]. Strangely, a lot of Chinese people I've spoken to about this say they really enjoy the noise, the hustle, the bustle and the packed crowds, saying it's all part of an "exciting shoppping experience". Must be just me then!

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Senseless census?

28/4/2011

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Senseless? Well no, not really. It's certainly an expensive and huge undertaking to survey all of China's 1.34 billion population (including me), but it has thrown up some interesting statistics:

For example, half of all Chinese now live in a city (up from a third in 2000). And there are double the number of migrant workers (farmers who move to cities to find work) than ten years ago. China's overall population is growing, but only very slowly. Worryingly though, the percentage of elderly citizens has grown from 10% to over 13% and there are 12 boys for every 10 girls. So some problems in store for the future, perhaps.

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Weird words and wardrobes

26/4/2011

 
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I need to be quicker with my camera. Only yesterday I managed to miss potentially classic photos of an electric scooter carrying another electric scooter on its luggage rack, a truck full of water buffalo bumping its way down my road, and a restaurant specialising in frog hotpot.

Instead, I've had to make do with this shop's unique signs, wishing us a Merry Christmas (in late April) and declaring themselves to be closed at "pm9: 00-am9: 00"!? This was the shop where Jiajia and I finally decided to buy our new wardrobes ...until we went back to one further shop and plumped for theirs instead. After visiting five furniture stores, we've finally settled for the very first wardrobes we saw, some two months ago. Isn't that always the way?

tHAT's rubbish!

24/4/2011

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I like this Chinglish, spotted at the airport recently. If it wasn't for the picture you might think it was a place to chuck your used caps!
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This day in history...

22/4/2011

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One of the advantages of keeping a daily diary (as I have done for the past 35 years) is that you can quicly glance back over what you were up to in previous years. 21st April has always been an odd day for me. 
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Four years ago, a bird flew into my flat and I had all sorts of problems getting it out. Three years ago I was dancing in a Swan Lake ballet for my school, in front of the mayor of Kunming. Two years ago I spent the day in hospital with gout. Last year I was watching 80 dwarves dance and sing at "Dwarf Empire". And this year (not quite as amazing), I had my first night-time mosquito of the year - quite late arriving this year.

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Who got here first

21/4/2011

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I've been trying to introduce Chinese friends to the delights of Dr Who, but I spotted this picture the other day. It seems the Doctor got here first!
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S'table ...and unstable

19/4/2011

 
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Fun and games last night in the Zhu household as a truckload of furniture arrived - yes, Jiajia's been buying stuff again! Having trailed around multiple furniture shops in Kunming, Jiajia spotted what she really wanted while in Shenzhen, bought it on the spot and arranged for it to be shipped to Kunming. She got a heavily discounted price, of course, and it is good quality stuff. Matching crockery too! The delivery man and I managed to lug it all up two flights of steps and into the flat (inflicting minor damage ...oops!) and then we unpacked and assembled it all.

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The old table was then removed (with me smashing the glass top in the process ...it was heavy!). But the bedroom table was too large and heavy to get up the staircase. We are going to try and get some local workers to lift it over the balcony rail with ropes! Now that doesn't sound dangerous, does it?

Hailing and healing

18/4/2011

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We've had some very odd weather in Kunming these last few months. Last month my parents witnessed snow flurries a day after getting sunburnt. And then yesterday, amidst a dry week of sunshine, we had a sudden half hour of hailstones! My lesson went to pieces as many of my students hadn't seen them before.

I occasionally mention my various health problems on this blog, so it's nice to be able to report that I seem to be feeling fairly well these days. No neck pains or dizziness for a while and I've recovered from the gout attack I had a couple of weeks ago. I suspect that the instant this entry is published, some new ailment will become apparent but, for now, I'm enjoying the moment and getting back to regular gym visits!

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He's got a lot of bottle

17/4/2011

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I saw this guy in the street the other day. The jars were held on on his head by suction, having had a small piece of cotton wool burned inside to create a vacuum. He looked like something out of a sci-fi show, but I suspect it was an attempt at remedying a headache or something! I wonder if he had to shave off his hair first for it to be effective? Or was he conveniently bald already? We'll never know!

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Saucer sourced

15/4/2011

 
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And here's is my own UFO picture, taken last week. It just looks like a dot in the photo, but seeemed bigger with the naked eye.  It was hovering for a while and then started to rise gently upwards. A little bit of computer magnification back home and I think I can see some sort of smoke trail from the bottom of the circle shape. Was it making a desperate attempt to gain altitude, or was something leaking from the engine? Hard to say.

UFOs, you knows

13/4/2011

 
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I've had aliens on my mind recently! The subject cropped up twice in school textbooks last week, leading to some fascinating tales from students of strange lights and shapes which they, or their friend or family member, have seen. I am also watching the latest seasons of Fringe and The Event on CD these days, which are full of strange goings on. And my (Chinese) friend Emily sent me these photos recently. She went on an trip to see the famous rapeseed fields near Kunming but, when her photos were developed, she noticed a lot of flying objects that she hadn't spotted at the time. She thinks they might have been birds but, on magnification, I'm not so sure. In my experience, birds tend to flock together, and aren't oval-shaped!

Panting or painting?

11/4/2011

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The latest craze here is for pet owners to paint their animals as something else. Apparently, they even have competitions for it. I say if you want a tiger then go get one. Don't just settle for a painted dog. Still, this hound looks happy enough and I bet it scares the cats!

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Double happiness

9/4/2011

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The hotel opposite my flat ofen hosts weddings. The red dragon-adorned shape on display above the steps [see photo] are the Chinese characters for "double happiness". Less welcome, perhaps, is the fact that hotels often book two weddings at the same time, leading to the odd sight of two couples facing each other outside the entrance, trying to work out whose guests are who. I'd find that quite demeaning, but it seems commonplace and acceptable here.

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ChongQing Chinglish (not easy to say, that!)

7/4/2011

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ChongQing's Chinglish seems to specialise in odd, food-related signs:
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...one day perhaps, but...
yhh
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...oh really? I think not...
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David who?

6/4/2011

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Me: "I have an Affidavit appointment"
Receptionist: "After David? David who?"
Once the initial confusion was overcome, my paperwork was completed smoothly by 10.30am, leaving me 14 hours before my flight back to Kunming. So I headed for Ci Qi Kou Ancient Village:
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This is a Ming Dynasty town an hour from ChongQIng which has been preserved and restored. Some streets were clearly for tourists, selling a variety of trinkets, but walk further and things start to look a little more authentic and "lived-in".
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The highlight for me was the BaoLun Temple in the centre of the old town, overlooking the hustle and bustle.  It was very peaceful and, at 1500 years old, pleasantly faded. The contrast between ChongQing's modern and ancient was very evident [see photo, left].

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A single return trip

5/4/2011

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I flew an hour to ChongQing today to get proof from the British Consulate there that I'm not already married, and for them to formally "publish the banns" for Ava and my wedding! This plush hotel (next to the cheaper one wher I was staying!) was a good omen. The "Ocean of Morality Big Hotel" decided to go with the Cantonese "Hoi Tak" romanisation rather than the Mandarin "Hai De". I knew I should have copyrighted my Chinese name [see blog banner].
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ChongQing is a huge city, with a population rivalling Bejing or Shanghai. It's situated on hills surrounding the YangZi River. Sounds idyllic? It's not. It's an eyesore - highrise buildings everywhere, a construction frenzy and permanently covered in a haze of smog which leads to more spitting that I've seen in a long time. Oh, and it's earthquake prone, too. After tracking down the Consulate for tomorrow's visit (it is closed today for "Sweep the Tombs Festival") I took one of ChongQing's famous cable cars, linking the hill on one side of the river to the opposite peak. I'm sure it is safer than it looks!


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Carted away

4/4/2011

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"Chengguan" is the rather more succinct Chinese name for what translates as the "City Urban Administrative and Law Enforcement Bureau Officers". Their role is to ensure that local city laws are adhered to. They have a very poor reputation amongst Chinese residents however, allegedly prone to heavy-handedness and over-reaction, though I've also read reports of locals ganging up to attack Chengguan officers who they thought were abusing their power. 

I saw this for myself for the first time the other day. From the safety of a passing bus, I watched a noisy scene with a lady flailing about and screaming as her little food cart was ripped from her and thrown into the back of a truck. There's no doubt she was an "unlicensed vendor" and the Chenguan were therefore doing their job. However, it was hard not to feel moved by her weeping, as she saw her livelihood destroyed before her eyes. What annoys me is that there is a street nearby which, every evening, has middle-class young people selling clothes from the back of their cars. This adhoc market blocks the road, creates a terrible noise for residents and really annoys the legitimate shop owners who pay high rents and whose pavements then get parked on with "mobile shops". And yet there's no sign of the Chengguan intervening there. Maybe they prefer picking on poor, vulnerable women?

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Untuneable

3/4/2011

 
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Another cracking Scrabble evening for the foreign teachers at my school last might, with two boards on the go and "online computer adjudication" for any dodgy words. It was good to welcome ex-RSL teachers Mark and Eve back to Kunming on holiday from their new home in Wenshan. And we all enjoyed Ross' palatial "new" apartment. I left too late to catch a bus, and in the wrong street direction to get home directly by taxi (one way systems), but it was worth it for the bragging rights of, "played 3, won 3", including the only seven-letter word of the evening, "untuneable"!

Training

2/4/2011

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Ava and I visited the Kunming Train Museum today (the deal was, "trawl around two furniture stores and you can play on the trains!"). The little museum was full of old pictures of Kunming and other towns (how things have changed on 100 years), plus a large shed nearby was stuffed with old locomotives. They were great for clambering on and reliving childhood fantasies! Definitely worth the £1 entrance ticket.
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Panda-ing to the rich

1/4/2011

 
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Shocking news coming out of Pianzi Prefecture in Sichuan Province of poachers aping real pandas to fool dazed cubs, and then smuggle them out of the country to rich collectors abroad. With schemes like this going on, it's no wonder pandas are an endangered species.

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Thankfully, these undercover photos are expected to aid police in tracking down the culprits, especially as each panda costume apparently has unique markings, helping officers find out which fake panda is stealing which real cub. Let's hope so.

    paul hider

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    Paul Hider lives and works in Kunming (SW China) and regularly updates this blog about his life there.

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