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Flashback: This day in ...2008

28/9/2023

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

“Keeping up appearances at all costs” seems to be ingrained in the culture here and recently the space programme was caught out. Conversations between the Chinese astronauts currently in space and Mission Control were accidentally published online before their rocket even left earth! The publicists claimed it was a “technical glitch” but it appears that even routine communications are scripted for public consumption. Last night I watched President Hu congratulating the astronauts by phone from Mission Control. It seemed like he was reading the questions from an autocue, and the astronaut wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was reading his answers from a file of papers! At one point he even read out the wrong answer. Hu asked, “How did you feel doing the space walk?”, to which the astronaut replied, “Thank you. We can assure you all that we will fulfil our mission”. Hu then continued, “The people of China are very proud of your achievements”. A pause from the astronaut, followed by a sheepish, “Thank you. We can assure you all that we will fulfil our mission”. Ooops!

Flashback: This day in ...2006

26/8/2023

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

MouDing County isn’t too far from here. Last month, they had their third confirmed case of rabies and the local government decided to take action. Dog owners were offered 5 yuan (30p) to kill their own dog or face the threat that, if they didn’t, the local police would do it for them! Over the next few weeks, 90% of the dogs in MouDing county were killed...

“...On Saturday, a woman was walking her dog - a small white animal she’d had for a long time - in an alley. Several men approached, talked her into handing them the leash and then beat the dog to death as the owner looked on in horror...”

“...Around midnight, men carrying clubs made noises to set the village dogs barking. Homing in on the sounds, the men would find their quarries, and the barks would be replaced by shrill yelps as the animals were dispatched. ..”

Sometimes you’ve got to admire the Chinese leaders, who simply brush aside any local upset to crack down and solve a problem almost overnight. But a lot of doggies died! How many? 500? 5000? ... Nope. China Daily’s conservative estimate was ... 50,000! Bet the cats are having a party!

Flashback: This day in ...2007

14/4/2022

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

Mr Qing, leader of the Education Bureau, pulled out all the stops this evening. Despite feeling under the weather (I'm on meds for a stomach infection) I was keen to join Caitie, Izzy ("GAP" volunteers) and her parents in visiting a remote Hani minority village. On arrival we were met by the whole village standing in lines singing, clapping with beaming smiles. The locals were all dressed in their finest traditional clothes and were keen to show us the village. The women showed us how they make the sticky “baba” rice, using a large stone bowl dug into the ground and a 3-man (woman!) thumping device to knead the rice [see photo, below]. It was then served to us on banana leaves with a bowl of fresh honey to dip it into. Delicious!

A pig had been killed in our honour and, as we listened to the local “laba” bugle player and an elderly man singing along in Hani language, we tucked into its various organs! Within sight of the outdoor banquet, Mr Qing pointed out wild raspberries, a peach tree, coffee bushes and a large flowering cactus. We were shown how the elders wear one type of costume, the married folk wear another variety and the youngsters have a different one again. As we were toasted by each group of villagers in turn, the sun slowly set. There were photo opportunities everywhere.

One of the leaders on our table was the local vicar! JiangCheng county apparently has 40 Christian churches (protestant) started by American missionaries back in the early 1800s. It is still the main religion among the Hani and the vicar told us about 150 villagers regularly attend his services on a Sunday.

After the meal, we made our way to the basketball court which had been transformed into a makeshift performance space. The vicar led the community singing and there was music from the bugle-blowing man and a less traditional CD mixing desk! There followed various Hani dances and some of the girls had dressed as various other minority groups to put on an ethnic fashion show [see photo, above]! The crowd standing behind our front row seats were really enjoying it, shouting out encouragement in Hani language and bursting into applause now and again. Everyone was getting very excited by the time we reached the last dance and, before we knew it, the “foreigners” had been dragged out to join in! There was laughter all round at the five of us prancing and hopping about like mad folk! After the dance and the applause, the performance broke up, though the villagers happily milled around, grabbing us to say how much they appreciated our coming, asking for photos and giving impromptu dance lessons. The youngsters tried out some of their English and the two drunkest men just kept poking me and giggling! A couple of the English teachers I train were there too and they enjoyed meeting some new foreigners for a change. It was all so genuinely warm-hearted and welcoming - not at all forced or “touristy”. I overheard one of the "GAP" girls mutter, “..that was just the best night ever”, and she was right! Not bad for a Friday 13th!!

Flashback: This day in ...2006

26/10/2021

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

My trip to the VSO Conference in Beijing started smoothly enough with a 3 hour car ride to Simao shared with teacher Li (man), teacher Li (woman, no relation) and Ms Wu (very recently promoted to the Local Education Bureau). After a night there, we flew (45mins) to Kunming and met Sun Kang, a leader from the Provincial Education Bureau. He speaks great English and in conversation gave examples of how unlucky he’d been on recent trips (in Indonesia for the tsunami, in Vietnam during riots, in Thailand for the coup, etc). His jinx continued as our flight to Beijing was delayed by 1.. 2.. 3.. and finally 4 hours. At the airport we took an hour to find a taxi which then ran into a midnight traffic jam(?) and took another 2 hours to get us to our hotel. We finally arrived at 2am to find our rooms had been double-booked. And then I tripped and broke my ankle...!

At first I thought I had just sprained my ankle and continued to limp around for the three days of the conference. My talk on the first day went OK, and I learned a lot from the other talks (although some Chinese speakers were rambling a bit and, filtered through a translator, it often made it quite hard to follow ...and I was taking minutes). On the last day, VSO suggested it might be wise to see a doctor while I was in Beijing. He x-rayed the ankle as a formality though he suspected a sprain. But the x-ray came back showing a fracture, so on went the plaster! Crutches in tow I managed to get through the two flights and a 3 hour car ride back to JiangCheng, hopping up the 86 steps to my flat. I’ve been confined to quarters for at least this week - very frustrating when I had planned to finally launch my training here. Teams of Education Bureau colleagues are bringing me food, clean washing, bottles of water etc. So I’m trying to put my independent nature aside and allow myself to be “cared for” and “fussed over”!

Flashback: This day in ...2007

2/6/2021

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

At 5.30am this morning I was woken from my slumbers by the biggest earthquake I’ve ever experienced. The one a fortnight ago was magnitude 6.1 and happened 250km away in Laos - this one was 6.4 and only 100km away (by comparison, the recent one in Kent registered 4.7). My VSO friends, the LEAF family, however, were less than 30km away and had breakages, a College-wide evacuation and lots of after-shocks. At the actual epicentre, a town called Pu’Er, 3 people died, 300 were injured and 120,000 residents were evacuated. My flat was shaken hard, and my heart was pounding for a while, but there was no damage. For a few minutes after the quake, there was an eerie silence. Then, as if someone had flicked a switch, the croaking frogs, chirping cicadas, barking dogs and crowing chickens all started up once again ...and I duly went back to bed (before a number of concerned phonecalls got me up again!).

Flashback: This day in ...2007

22/4/2021

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

Bella teaches 95% of her lesson in Chinese. When I suggest afterwards that she should really aim for at least 50% English she replies (in Chinese), “I can’t, I can’t !”, and she’s probably right. She skips through today’s lesson from the standard, modern textbook in 10 minutes flat, studiously avoiding any games, pairwork or communicative exercises. The remaining ¾ of her lesson is spent tackling some of the hundreds of multiple choice grammar questions in another textbook she has found somewhere (I’ve never seen it before. I hope I never see it again). The questions are painfully dull and many of the answers are dubious, at best. The students are slowly lulled into a stupor of inactivity.

Same school, same grade, same lesson, different teacher – the lottery of which students get a decent chance to learn English and which students don’t …

Half an hour later, just along the corridor, Lily starts her lesson with a quick song. She is all smiles as her students belt out “Do-Re-Mi”. Excitement mounts as she pulls out a bag with something clinking in it. Empty bottles are produced and the new words, “tall, thin, short, wide, heavy and long” are taught. Large pictures of oddly shaped people are stuck to the blackboard and students are called up to write descriptions beneath each one. Lily then uses a “flip flashcard” to present a dialogue followed by a flawless pairwork session, full of encouragement and laughter. Everything is done in English – simple, clear English, repeated often and aided by body language. Activities from the colourful textbook are quickly completed and there’s time left for an “Anagram Game”. It’s a masterclass of Middle School teaching.

…same school, same grade, same lesson, different teacher – the lottery of which students get a decent chance to learn English and which students don’t...

Flashback: This day in ...2007

26/11/2020

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

I started my trainer-training at Robert's School by observing each of the three Chinese in-house trainers in action. As you can see in the photo, they only have a few new teachers on each cycle and the course is therefore nicely informal and personalised. The three trainers are excellent teachers in their own right, especially with the younger students, with whom most of the Chinese teachers have their lessons (classes of older students are usually taught by foreign teachers).

However, none of them has any specific background in training and so they are keen, if a little nervous, to get feedback and advice. The present course has evolved into a largely didactic passing-on of how each lesson should be taught, right down to standardised gestures and umpteen steps for every moment of the class, which cannot be deviated from. I think I’d like to adapt it so that new teachers work out the most successful methods for themselves and, in doing so, understand why they are the best ways, more than simply being told so. This means having open-ended activities, worksheets to complete and group discussions where the new teachers can suggest their own answers and give their own opinions and ideas. Not a particularly Chinese way of doing things but one which, as teachers, we should already be encouraging our students to do in our lessons...

Flashback: This day in ...2006

24/9/2020

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

KuiXiang (literally, "Strong Taste") is the second school on my training tour of remote Middle Schools. It's quite a large one - 2000 students and 100 teachers. Half of the English teachers are new graduates, fresh from Teaching Colleges. Their spoken English is better than the more established teachers, and they have a real enthusiasm for teaching and improving themselves (which sadly fades with time).

This visit will stay with me for the surreal moment at lunch, when I was asked by one of the teachers, “Are you Jesus?”. I assumed I had misheard, but she spelled it out for me “Yes, Jesus, J-E-S-U-S”. I replied that no, I was "Paul". “Oh. Well I am Jesus!” she continued. Fortunately, another teacher spotted my bewildered expression and explained that she meant she was a Christian!

It turned out that three of the new teachers profess to be Christians - converts of their foreign “teacher” at College! I wonder how long their new faith will last, amidst the overwhelming religious apathy of China? Having said that, I was told that most of the Miao ethnic group in town are also Christian, having been converted by missionaries in the late 1800s! So, who knows? As you can see from the photo, I was persuaded to don traditional Miao clothes myself for a photo - a taste of things to come, with ethnic groups comprising 85% of JiangCheng’s population, the place where I will be based from this time next week.

Flashback: This day in ...2007

18/6/2020

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

Banquets sound great, right? Free, quality food, good company, no washing up, etc. Well maybe, but this term I’ve been averaging a banquet a day (including weekends) as a result of all the school visits I make, and they can sometimes be a real pain. The conversations can be all in Chinese for long periods, the food is often too spicy/bitter/sour or just downright odd (we had “tree leaves and crushed bones” yesterday!). There’s usually the toasting session at the end (being tee-total takes some effort in China) and there’s always a handful of men who see nothing wrong in puffing on their fags whilst others are still eating. However, I’ve become quite adept at pitching in to conversations, spotting the “dangerous” foods and avoiding alcohol without giving offence.

Here are my top tips for surviving Chinese banquets:

Arrive at the table early, check out the dishes and sit near the ones you can stomach. If necessary, subtly jam something under the rotating central section to ensure your choices don’t spin away.
When ordering food, always ask for “panda meat”. Some folk laugh, some look genuinely worried, some apologise for it not being on the menu. Great fun!
Sit with your back towards any big posters showing western meals [see photo above]. This helps you concentrate on the Chinese food and stops inappropriate salivating.
Pretend you understand nothing of the Chinese conversation, and then listen really carefully when you hear your name mentioned – you can learn a lot.
Show how much you enjoy certain dishes – chances are they will be ordered again on your next visit.
If you don’t drink but have totally failed to avoid the “thimbleful of spirits” toast, suddenly tip it back shouting “GanBei!” (“Cheers!”) but aim just past your ear rather than into your mouth. The other drinkers tend not to notice. Do check for passing waitresses first. If someone asks you whether you can use chopsticks (and after five years in China, they still do!?), simply point to your stomach and (in Chinese) say, “What do you think?”. This only works if you are as fat as me.
Reach across the table to a distant plate of food. Wait for some kind person to spin the table round bringing the dish closer to you. Then immediately reach across the table for something completely different. Wait for the spin. Reach across. Spin. Continue until someone realises you are just winding them up.
Always thank the cook and compliment the waitresses. It’s very un-Chinese, and it’s worth it just to see the shocked look on their face!

Flashback: This day in ...2006

20/4/2020

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

One of the teachers I train was telling me last week how bad her students' listening skills were. So this week, whilst observing her lesson, I decided to have a go at her weekly dictation test. Admittedly, I had not done the homework so I had no idea what words to expect, but I feel like my "listening" skills were quite good. So I was very embarrassed to score only 3/10!!

However, I suggest that it might be her pronunciation that's at fault, rather than her students' listening! See how you get on with a few examples (as I heard them):

"of late" eg "your horse may be of late".
[Actual answer: "a flat" - eg "your house may be a flat"]

"bitten" eg, "bee has bitten a sea".
[Actual answer: "between" - eg "B is between A and C"]

"glum" - eg, "these students are inner glum".
[Actual answer: "column" - eg "these students are in a column"]

"bulgy" eg, "Mrs Wang is a bulgy teacher"!
[Actual answer: "biology" - eg "Mrs Wang is a biology teacher"]

….so, how well would you have done??

Flashback: This day in ...2008

2/11/2019

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

I was asked to stay around Robert's School throughout the weekend to lend a hand with any areas that were short-staffed. That proved easier said than done, as my “sword through the torso” fancy dress had students screaming, running and even crying, wherever I went! After a while Robert just suggested I wander around causing panic and mayhem (or words to that effect). No sooner said than done!

For my own classes I’d put together a few little games. One was a snake which had swallowed the class. the only escape was for the students to move back through the snake’s body with the aid of a large dice and Halloween questions if they landed on certain spots. The other game was a version of “pin the tail on the donkey”, but with Dracula’s facial features. Hilarity ensued! But boy, a weekend like this does leave one exhausted. By the end, my limping and groaning was no longer just being put on for frightening effect!

Flashback: This day in ...2008

12/9/2019

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

The recently opened Department Store over the entrance to my training school was displaying rather more than we really anticipated recently! Thankfully, we only saw the rear(s) view, but I'm quite sure it proved a distraction from our school's advertising!

I was asked to do some oral English work today to help prepare half a dozen young men and women for their all-important IELTS exam which they need to pass to be able to study abroad. Unfortunately, the list of possible subjects to talk about had been translated from Chinese by a computer and most of the mangled topics left me scratching my head. See if you can work them out. My top ten . . .

"The Chinese spends preparing food the time many few, on what food packing whether to take to prepare food in the home, to eat importantly?"
"Artware"
"Periphery description one animal kind."
"What describes first space study period scene except college most importantly regarding students? You thought now looked for the work with before what had distinguish?"
"About the birthday, with who how to have crossed, to be how interesting with."
The modern family and the beforehand parents divide the work have anything to be different. After the children growing up, hoped government makes anything be possible to have the help family."
"Most likes time section."
"International society is the animal on which how to rescue these to border on the exterminates. What do you have to move?"
"Side you cross ocean, feels what kind, you thought that what the seashore life does have to the person body to affect?"
"A matter which co-operates with the human."

Flashback: This day in ...2006

10/8/2019

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

In March this year 25 people were killed when their bus fell into a 100m deep valley in QiaoJia County, Yunnan. The roads there are known to be particularly hazardous . And just yesterday, a bus full of Middle School students fell into a river, killing 28 children, also in QiaoJia County ...... so guess where I’m going tomorrow?

My INSETT training course in QiaoJia starts on Monday and I was due to be picked up from YiLiang tomorrow (I got back “home” this afternoon after a pretty torturous 18 hour bus ride). But now, all QiaoJia cars have been “grounded” until the registered drivers there have received “safety training”. So I have been asked to take a bus back to Zhaotong tomorrow morning (with all my resources, computer and hastily washed clothes etc) and meet some ongoing transport that QiaoJia Education Commission will have arranged. My relaxed holiday mood has been well and truly shattered!

Flashback: This day in ...2009

10/1/2019

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

It was supposed to be simple 1½ hour bus trip to Ganden Monastery - the second of the big three Tibetan monasteries - albeit a bus trip starting at 6.30am. Being so far West, but having to use Beijing time, Tibet doesn’t see the sun rise until about 9.30am in the Winter. So when the bus suddenly stopped after an hour it wasn’t immediately obvious why. But once we disembarked we felt thick snow underfoot and the bus driver made it clear that the road got too steep from here onwards. The pilgrims seemed keen to set off on foot but then they would, right? For them it was a religious mission...

I quickly hooked up with two Tibetan teachers (brother and sister) who were able to explain in mutually clunky Mandarin that they’d been here before and it wasn’t too much further by foot, “....just 29 hairpin bends, but we can take shortcuts”! Because of Tibet's altitude I was gasping for air before we started. It was pitch black with slippery, ankle-deep snow. But thanks to the encouragement and helping hands of teachers “Jin” and “Zhuo” we made the two hour climb together in time for a steaming hot breakfast of dumplings in the monastery canteen. What a start to 2009!

Flashback: This day in ...2006

16/11/2018

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

“So let’s see. After a month with a broken leg, how can we make Paul's final day in plaster just that little bit more annoying? I know, why don’t we paint the railings by the steps to his flat overnight? Then he’ll have to hop up the 85 steps without any way of balancing. And if we don’t tell him, he’ll get his hands and clothes all dirty before attending class. Silver shows up well, let’s paint them all silver. But maybe he’ll smell the new paint .... I know, let’s strike him down with a heavy cold overnight so he can’t smell a thing. In fact, the paint fumes might even contribute to his sore throat. Yes, that ought to do the job.”

Flashback: It happened before in ...2007

30/5/2018

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

(Summer 2007) I had a little visitor to the flat today, and a more interesting one than the odd spider, cockroach or gecko. Whilst watching a DVD, a swift flew in through the open kitchen window, across the lounge and straight into a closed window – THUMP! He fluttered around quite a bit until, exhausted, he allowed me to get close enough to grab him and take him to the open window, where he flew off unhurt! There are hundreds of swifts around town at this time of year, especially around the rivers, flying low to catch insects – some just inches off the ground. Great to see, though not particularly welcome during an episode of Dr Who.

[30th May 2018: I was prompted to look up this story by a rather large bird flying into my classroom earlier this week. After trying to fly out through a closed window and thumping its head, it was dazed enough to let me pick it up and take it to an open window whereupon it flew off, seemingly none the worse for wear. Cue a round of applause from my students!]

Flashback: This day in ...2005

3/12/2016

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

I’m getting a bit frustrated with the quality of Chinese goods! The handles of my new pair of scissors fell off after a week of use. My ironing board topples over when you put an iron on the tray where the iron is supposed to go! My new nail clippers broke (yes, the metal actually sheared in two) as I trimmed my nails. And the jumper I bought a few days ago developed a hole the size of a 50p piece under the arm after just one day’s wear. I took it back to the shop and, as I walked in, the shopkeeper grinned at me and pointed to his armpit. It seems the whole batch have the same defect! The answer? He arranged to have it darned by the afternoon, and now it’s as good as new. You just don’t get that sort of service (or quality) from your local Marks and Sparks!!

Flashback: This day in ...2008

25/4/2015

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

There seems to be a lot of firing going on these days!

First, there was the secretary at my school fired for foolishly writing a rude comment about an adult student on a piece of paper and then, really foolishly, leaving it where the person could, and did, read it!

Then the foreign teacher fired for showing his class a DVD in the lesson - not a sackable offence in itself except that it was the third DVD film in the last four lessons and the parents weren’t happy.

And last night, I had a fun evening playing mahjong with Chinese friends from the school and one of their husbands, a policeman. Rather mischievously, I asked if he had a gun and had ever used it. He said it was rare to use it in action, but there were regular “executions”! Intrigued, I asked whether they were still held publicly in football stadiums (as they were a decade ago), and how often they happened. He said they now used remote areas in the forest and, in Kunming alone, about 15 criminals a month are shot!! Ouch!

Flashback: This day in ...2005

19/10/2014

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

My toilet exploded today! As I showered beside it this morning (they are in the same place), I did notice there was an unusual build up of water on the floor - but it was early and I was tired! So after a quick “No.2” I made the fatal mistake of flushing!! Kerboom!! And now I’m awash in things you don’t want to know about! The school arranged a man to sort it out “by noon” but, by my 3pm lesson, there was still no sign of him. My lesson was cancelled though (someone had double-booked the classroom) and he finally made it at 4ish. He had a look, hammered 14 nails into various walls (while waiting for someone to bring the right tool for the loo) and promptly disappeared...?

He came back a few hours later with his wellies on! Worrying! After a couple of hours wading around at the back of the flat I was told it was safe to shower and do number ones but, alas, no number twos for 4 days (is this a little too much information for you?). They want to “dig a hole and line it with concrete”!? I fear after 4 days it’ll need to be very thick concrete!!

Flashback: This day in ...2007

14/6/2014

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

Teachers are frantically bombarding their students with Exam Practice Papers these days - some have been doing so for months already. Despite my best efforts, this type of lesson remains super-boring for the students and a preparation-free, revert-to-speaking-in-100%-Chinese lesson for the teachers. What’s worse is that the teachers and students believe fervently that wading through literally hundreds of multiple choice questions is teaching them something and will mean better exams results. I doubt it. And then there’s the papers themselves. Despite being produced by a wide variety of publishers they are all, without exception, appalling.

Check these out:

1. “Pick the right picture” (and all four pictures have photocopied as solid black squares).

2. Many multiple-choice questions have two or three quite legitimate possible answers. For example, the perplexing...
Anne and Jenny are my ______
(a) teachers (b) friends (c) sisters (d) brothers

3. And often, the answers are just plain wrong. I saw these “correct” answers today:
 She has carly hair. (well, Carly does...)
 Is the weather like today? (what?)
 Eating apples can made you healthy. (you make a mistake!)
 I’m poor so I can’t play for it. (play for the FA Cup, perhaps?)
 He’s a straight man. (maybe this one is intentional?)
 She is learning Italian dish. (a cook maybe?)
 I’ll retire and grow lives. (Nope. Not a clue on this one!)
 Penguins are the kings of cats (my personal favourite ...!?)

4. Even the “English Language Revision TV Programme” regularly makes a hash of things:
      He ________ harder last year than before.
      (a) study (b) studies (c) was studying (d) studied

What do you think? Both (c) and (d) look fine to me, but the programme insisted the right answer was (b)??

Flashback: This day in ...2006

19/5/2014

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

Today was another teacher-training trip to a remote school in XiaoCaoBa village.

Despite a hold up from an accident ahead and two small landslides we arrived in under two hours. After the debacle of my last school visit (“teaching a lesson” to 600 students in a playground), I had made it very clear that I wanted to teach my well-prepared model lesson to a single Grade 1 class using textbooks and a blackboard. So my heart sank when we drove into the school to see another playground full of students waiting excitedly for a lesson. I calmly explained yet again the differences between a model lesson (primarily for teachers to see new teaching methods) and shouting at 800 students in the open air (primarily for “look at the strange foreigner” reasons). As ever, I compromised - 20 minutes chat and a song for everybody, then Grade 2 and 3 students left so that I could give my model lesson to the remaining 250(!) Grade 1 students, sharing textbooks, aided by a tiny blackboard! Not ideal, but what can you do?

In the afternoon, I observed two very different lessons. The first was a 45 minute grammar monologue totally in Chinese – simply appalling! By contrast, the second was a fantastic lesson with a song, a game, flashcards and superbly executed pairwork. One of the things I like about my job is the frequent need to think on your feet and solve problems given very little time. So, as all the English teachers and I walked back to the staffroom for my feedback session, I had to think of a way to tackle the “excellent/excrement” nature of the lessons without leaving anyone upset!! I started with a big smile (always helps!) and congratulated both teachers on the clever way they had shown us the differences between the old and new teaching methods! I went on to contrast all the bad things about the old way with all the good things about the new way. And finally, I thanked both teachers once again for making this so clear to us all in their lessons! Amazingly, both left with big smiles on their faces as if it had, after all, simply been a well-coordinated demonstration!

Flashback: This day in ...2008

21/3/2014

Another in my occasional series of “Flashbacks” looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

I got a call yesterday from my old boss, Mr Qing, asking me to interview twenty prospective English teachers for the Education Bureau in JiangCheng, as I did last year. So off I trotted to Kunming Normal University where hundreds of students were milling around the basketball courts and visiting umpteen tables full of education leaders, trying to find someone who would employ them come September. The standard of spoken English this year was better than last year, but many were still making lots of fundamental mistakes (eg I very like, I am coming from...) despite 10+ years of learning English. Shocking really. A few classic answers:

Me: What’s the most important quality for a teacher?
Student: They should be smelly. (I think she meant smiley, but still not a great answer!)

Me: Why do you want to teach in JiangCheng?
Student: I don’t, but maybe I will have to if I can find nothing better. (scraping the barrel, then?)

Me: Tell me about a teacher you had once who you remember.
Student: I remember Mrs Li was an inspiration to me. (blimey ... good English here!) He was for inspire to me where my English speaking made better. (ouch ... you blew it!)

Me: Why do you want to be a teacher?
Student: Back in World War Two (... oh here we go ...) Japan had two nuclear bombs dropped on it by America. Their economy came back very fast. This is because of education. So I want to be a teacher. (... just in case China gets nuked, eh?)

It was quite frightening how few of them could tell me simply why they liked teaching, or why they wanted to be a teacher. There was lots of talk about how China needs education to develop, and how cute children are, but it seemed like none of them had considered the realities of a teaching life or, perhaps, made a specific choice to teach (rather than be forced into it as everything else had failed!). As ever, very worrying.

Flashback: This day in ...2006

27/12/2013

Another in my occasional series of “Flashbacks” looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

Last week, reporters from "China Central TV" spent a day shooting a fly-on-the-wall piece about “a day in my life”. They filmed me getting up, making a coffee, heading for the shower, arriving at school, observing a lesson, being driven to a remote school and teaching a model lesson! The following day was a more formal interview and then they packed up and left to edit the piece.

Today my 25-minute documentary was shown for the third time in a week! I'm told the channel has an audience over 20 million! The programme was really professionally produced and the editors had cleverly managed to link the work (and play) that I do with another VSO volunteer (and good friend) Lesley, even though we live in separate towns and have different roles. Now, strangers keep coming up to me and saying, “I saw you on TV”! I may even have my very own stalker – a woman from Shanghai watched me and somehow got my phone number … “I will call you every day” she promised …yikes! Oh, and if Spielberg is reading this (I’m told he keeps up with my news), I’m now available for motion picture work if the script (and price) is right.

Flashback: This day in ...2008

11/11/2013

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

Last night I slept in a hotel I’ve never slept in before, with the curtains closed and no noise outside. Just before I went to sleep I changed my alarm clock from 7.00am to 6.50am to give me a few extra minutes to check out and catch my early bus. I slept soundly but, at some point in the dark and quiet, I woke up and reached for my clock to see what time it was. The exact second I touched the clock, the alarm went off. It was precisely 6.50am! Now explain that to me!? My alarm clock is digital, so no clicks or tick-tocking to mark the time and, back at home, I never awake before my alarm. But here, it seems my internal body clock was not just aware of the approximate time to get up but knew, to the exact second, when 6.50am would be!? If the event were more “significant”, one could easily attribute supernatural forces to what is essentially either an amazing feat of the body, or a total coincidence. Strange.

Flashback: This day in ...2006

29/10/2013

Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

I had a bewildering, but very
amusing, conversation while
in Beijing recently:

Me:                 So what do you do?
Chinese lady: I’m Harry Potter
Me:                 You mean you LIKE Harry Potter?
Chinese lady: No, I AM Harry Potter!
Me:                 Really? So can you do magic spells?
Chinese lady: Pardon?
Me:                 Spells. Can you do spells?
Chinese lady:  Certainly. R-E-P-O-R-T-E-R.
                                          I’m Harry Potter …for a newspaper.
Me:                Oh. You’re a reporter!
Chinese lady: Yes, I told you. I'm Harry Potter.