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Sinking feeling in the stomach...

24/2/2023

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Jiajia bought some multi-use cleaning fluid recently. But the examples of what it could clean got progressively weirder!
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Ten quid for two squid

20/11/2022

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Despite us all having coughs and colds, we travelled to Green Lake today to have a lunch, celebrating my Birthday in a pretty (if pricey) restaurant there. Ma joined us, despite "being on her death bed" all last week (she said). Jiajia ordered a wide variety of meat and veg. JD especially loved the squid. We'd brought along a birthday cake too but, by dessert time, were all too full to eat it. So we'll tuck into that this evening. 

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Bad food

11/3/2022

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One of my dumplings looked a bit evil today!
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Tastebuds in a pickle?

6/1/2022

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JD's mixed heritage seems to lead to some very odd food preferences. He likes Brussel sprouts with his chicken's feet, salt with his pineapple chunks, and ice-cream with pepper. But his latest favourite breakfast - croissants with sweet pickle - is truly disturbing! 
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Duck the decision

4/10/2021

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Sometimes it's just so hard to choose...
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Sushi for he, she and me

6/4/2021

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When Jiajia took JD to his first sushi meal a month ago (I was away) he fell in love with it. He wanted to take his friends to the restaurant for his birthday, but it only seats a dozen people so we vetoed that. However this last weekend he declared that he wanted to treat Jiajia and I to a sushi meal with some of his Birthday money. Very sweet.
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Squid
So we went there yesterday. JD loved it and Jiajia is happy to eat it, but it was a bit of a trial for me. I don't like seafood and it doesn't like me. I settled for a seaweed soup with minimal fishy bits, but I still woke with a gout attack this morning and I suspect it's no coincidence.
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Thumbs up

4/4/2021

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A reassuring menu option!
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Cor! Fish/crawfish

22/3/2021

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JD and I had a fun trip out with some of his schoolfriends yesterday.
We went to a mountainside picnic area where the kids could run around and play. Lunch was a DIY barbecue - you bring your own food and then pay for charcoal and the barbecue grill to cook it on. Fun.
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JD's favourite activity, as ever, was fishing in the pond there. He managed to catch a lot of minnows, a huge tadpole, some shrimp and a 10cm (4") long crawfish.
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Banquet - ban quit!

8/2/2021

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We shared a nice pre-Spring Festival banquet with families of JD's old Kindergarten friends last week. The other fathers got gradually drunker through the evening and were loud and tactile when Jiajia told them I had got my green card ("You are us Chinese", they slurred in broken English, hugging me!). ​
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But towards the end of the meal they insisted on lighting up, as usual, despite me pointing out the very obvious "No Smoking" signs behind them. A fume-filled end to an otherwise lovely get-together.
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Sow tasty

30/12/2020

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If you're not full up on turkey, why not try "flattened pig face", on sale right now at our local supermarket! 
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Even reindeer plates!

28/12/2020

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At fairly short notice, Jiajia  decided to try and cook up a western Christmas dinner. Roast chicken, a Chinese vegetable in the brassica family (tastes like sprouts), beans, stuffing, gravy, roast potatoes and Yorkshire pudding-ish flat bread. Impressive!

We washed it down with banana milkshake and had cake for dessert. I even made some crackers - no bang as we pulled them but they did have paper hats, awful jokes and tiny toys.
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Me fan

27/12/2020

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A Chinese friend of mine likes to make little Christmas tableaus out of her rice meal! [The title? "rice" is called "mifan" in Chinese!]
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On reflection

20/12/2020

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Our friends returned our recent "conveyor-belt hotpot" treat by inviting JD and I (and another family) to their house, which is in our neighbourhood, for a home-made hotpot (Jiajia is away on business).
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The family live on the top floor of their building and  have built a glass frame over the rooftop where they can eat and look out on the city skyline. The reflection in the glass also allows you to look up and see down to your food! [see left] 

Their son, Johnny, is in JD's school/year, but in a different class. They both go to the same after-school homework club though and are slowly forming a nice friendship.

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I say! A conveyor!

10/12/2020

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JD's school friend, English name "Johnny", and Johnny's family joined us for a "conveyor belt hot pot" last week, Good fun and not too expensive at £20 for six people.
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Birthday LVI

18/11/2020

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It was my 56th Birthday today (LVI). Although it was a normal working day, I had some treats along the way including a steak lunch, lots of texts and e-mails, a parcel of goodies from the UK and another "ride" on the exercise bike - my main present from Jiajia. Cake on Saturday.
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Crossing and building bridges

30/8/2020

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We had "cross-the-bridge noodles" for lunch yesterday with a teacher friend of ours who is helping us to find a suitable tutor for JD. JD starts a new term next week and Jiajia and I are aware that we won't always be able to pick him up from school (because of our work commitments) or help him complete his homework (because of language/patience issues!). So, if we can employ someone to help, it will relieve the pressure on us and give JD some stability in his after-school care.
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"Cross-the-bridge noodles" is Yunnan's most famous dish. A scalding hot chicken broth is delivered to your table along with raw ingredients such as quails' eggs, thinly sliced meat and diced mushrooms or vegetables. These are poured into the broth which quickly cooks them. The noodles are then added and it's time to tuck in! It can be a cheap lunch option, but we took our friend to the most famous noodle restaurant in Kunming for some quality eats!

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Flashback: This day in ...2007

18/6/2020

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Another in my occasional series of "Flashbacks" looking back at blog entries made before this Weebly version started.

Banquets sound great, right? Free, quality food, good company, no washing up, etc. Well maybe, but this term I’ve been averaging a banquet a day (including weekends) as a result of all the school visits I make, and they can sometimes be a real pain. The conversations can be all in Chinese for long periods, the food is often too spicy/bitter/sour or just downright odd (we had “tree leaves and crushed bones” yesterday!). There’s usually the toasting session at the end (being tee-total takes some effort in China) and there’s always a handful of men who see nothing wrong in puffing on their fags whilst others are still eating. However, I’ve become quite adept at pitching in to conversations, spotting the “dangerous” foods and avoiding alcohol without giving offence.   
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Here are my top tips for surviving Chinese banquets:
  1. Arrive at the table early, check out the dishes and sit near the ones you can stomach. If necessary, subtly jam something under the rotating central section to ensure your choices don’t spin away.
  2. When ordering food, always ask for “panda meat”. Some folk laugh, some look genuinely worried, some apologise for it not being on the menu. Great fun!
  3. Sit with your back towards any big posters showing western meals [see photo above]. This helps you concentrate on the Chinese food and stops inappropriate salivating.
  4. Pretend you understand nothing of the Chinese conversation, and then listen really carefully when you hear your name mentioned – you can learn a lot.​
  5. Show how much you enjoy certain dishes – chances are they will be ordered again on your next visit.
  6. If you don’t drink but have totally failed to avoid the “thimbleful of spirits” toast, suddenly tip it back shouting “GanBei!” (“Cheers!”) but aim just past your ear rather than into your mouth. The other drinkers tend not to notice. Do check for passing waitresses first. If someone asks you whether you can use chopsticks (and after five years in China, they still do!?), simply point to your stomach and (in Chinese) say, “What do you think?”. This only works if you are as fat as me.
  7. Reach across the table to a distant plate of food. Wait for some kind person to spin the table round bringing the dish closer to you. Then immediately reach across the table for something completely different. Wait for the spin. Reach across. Spin. Continue until someone realises you are just winding them up.
  8. Always thank the cook and compliment the waitresses. It’s very un-Chinese, and it’s worth it just to see the shocked look on their face!
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Piece o' Pizza

26/4/2020

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The wife's pizzas are getting better and better!
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Komplete Food Carnage

18/4/2020

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We treated ourselves to a huge feast today to "celebrate" our 12th week of lockdown. Delivered to our door and dispatched within half an hour - very tasty!
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Stick in to the rules

6/4/2020

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Although we are still largely confined to our neighbourhood, when we do occasionally venture outside, we are starting to see signs of restaurants, parks and museums reopening. Schools and university are still shut though as are half the shops. But the "Fried dough stick" snack bar down the hill from us opened yesterday, so there are definitely some signs of life returning to normal.
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Happy Meal

18/3/2020

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Stomach cake

24/2/2020

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An afternoon spent making a chocolate cake
​which looked better than it tasted to be honest!
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Water show!

18/1/2020

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We spent yesterday wandering around Hanoi's Old Quarter, taking in the traditional French/Vietnam architecture. The highlight was a Water Puppet Show where various characters and animals are operated with underwater poles to perform little acts and dance routines. Very traditional and great fun. ...then noodles to round off the day.
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70 and counting

30/9/2019

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October 1st is the 70th Anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China - the country I currently call home. I was one of five teachers from the whole of Yunnan (pop: 50 million) invited to attend the Provincial Government's celebratory banquet in the swanky Green Lake Hotel. A very formal do. I even had to wear my one and only tie!
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It was the usual affair. Men in black suits mixing with others from minority groups and nearby countries dressed in their ethnic costumes. A mercifully succinct speech extolling the glories of China kicked off the event. The food was quality over quantity, but more important were the various dignitaries going from table to table toasting each other. Then, after 90 minutes, it was announced that the reception was over and, within a few minutes, the fancy dining room had been vacated and people slowly drifted off home. All very Chinese!
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But for all the cultural oddities, it is genuinely a really nice gesture to invite various foreigners along to what is, essentially, an event for patriotic Chinese to revel in the successes of their country. The respect and gratefulness of Chinese people towards foreigner workers can contrast strongly with the attitude to immigrants seen in many other countries...
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Tennis and table tennis

22/7/2018

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We really enjoyed our day with the Sams today.

Aled is a qualified tennis coach and gave JD a free lesson at his club in the morning, and then teamed up with him at table-tennis in their garden in the afternoon. JD loved it.

A walk through the woods followed by an ice-cream and a delicious barbecue rounded off a terrific day.

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    paul hider

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    Paul Hider lives and works in Kunming (SW China) and regularly updates this blog about his life there.

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