Blog

Old, weak and pregnant

25/3/2013

Less than a week to go now before our son appears and life changes dramatically for Jiajia and I. It's very exciting and, of course, a little nerve-racking. Jiajia will lose the use of the buses' comfier seats [see photo, left], though I think I'll still qualify!?

Jiajia will be having a C-section - more common in China and a sensible precaution because of her age and a small placenta problem - so there will be no mad "waters breaking" rush to the hospital! She should even have a private room, we're told, in the hospital's new maternity wing. In China, there is no thought of mother or baby returning home until at least a week after the operation and babies are often not even taken out of the house for the first 100 days. With no free National Health Service, we've also had to save up for considerable medical costs. But, all being well, I'll be a Dad by this time next week.

We have started to fill-in a Baby Book [see photo, below] sent by my
parents. I still have the one they completed for me as a baby...

As I was running this morning I was listening to Ultravox's latest album on my MP3 and the lyrics of their song, "One", suddenly hit me afresh;

"It’s hard to believe the time has come for this one.
Good fortune has breathed its breath upon this one."

Not just any nanny

17/3/2013

Introducing our new nanny, Xiao Zhang. Ava and I decided fairly early on to employ a full-time, live-in nanny for the first few months after our baby arrives. Apart from having read a couple of books, we have little idea how to look after a newborn child! My parents are obviously far away and Ava only has one (unreliable) parent around. We both work full-time, too, and labour is relatively cheap here. So for many reasons it seemed to make sense. Zhang comes through a reputable nannying agency and seems to have fitted in well during her short visits here so far. She moves in properly later this week. She has struck up a working rapport with Ma-in-law and has been introduced to Dorta! What she really thinks about our strange and disfunctional family is anybody's guess.

Do it yourshelf

12/3/2013

3 Comments

The list of "things to do before the baby arrives" is gradually getting ticked off. The kitchen is replaced. The old office is now a baby/nanny bedroom. The doors to the new office and bathroom are due to arrive and be fitted today. The wall shelves and self-standing bookshelves arrived yesterday and are already full of stuff. The live-in nanny was due to arrive last Sunday but, whilst driving here, she heard her 21 year-old son had been in a car accident and broken his leg. So we're hoping for a back-up nanny to arrive today. Clothes and nappies are bought. Another scan is due tomorrow. I've planned lessons for two weeks cover at school. And the interminable paperwork required to register a newborn in China is up to date. What have we forgotton...?

[P.S. The photo above makes it look like one very crowded corner of a
room! It's actually 2 separate places in the flat, photo-shopped together!]

3 Comments

Nappy birth day presents

1/3/2013

While I approach the mid-point of the Lattitude training, my huge-bellied wife continues to wield her internet powers to buy all the necessaries for a newborn baby. Friends, family and customers have also been very generous in buying items for next month's life-changing event. We had a delivery of bottles and steriliser from a Hong Kong friend today, a stroller on the way and various toys and clothes slowly filling the cupboards.

I've been trying out a front-loading baby carrier, whilst a Chinese friend of mine has sent through a more traditional back-mounted option (plus two boxes of brown sugar which Chinese mothers must eat a lot of, apparently). My school has granted me two weeks of paid paternity leave once the baby is here, and we have a shopping centre gift card for nappies too!

On the less positive side, after 3 weeks of running water (a Spring Festival "gift" from our kindly local government) we've now been cut off again and have to manage with an hour a day once again. Let's just hope babies never needs washing ...what's that?? They do???

Cot something else

23/2/2013

The baby room is gradually coming together. We had the cot delivered today and I managed to put it together without any breaka furniture or loss of blood (I'm still limping from the glass tabletop experience!). Dorta decided to test the bed and mobile. We also bought a mattress for the nanny's bed. Having initially been quoted 700RMB, Ava went to work and we eventually got it for just 200RMB (£20) including delivery! Nice discount!

Christmas baby

19/2/2013

2 Comments

I've had another article published in the "Chinese Cultural Group Merton" newletter. This one about Christmas babies:

Full Spring 13 newsletter
File Size:	1882 kb
File Type:	pdf

Download File

2 Comments

Unstable tables and bad beds

17/2/2013

2 Comments

I've spent the last few days turning our office room into a baby room and turning the balcony area into a functioning "office". It hasn't been easy doing all the lifting and lugging by myself, but as the other adults in the house are either too old or too pregnant it's been down to me. Not helped by my dreadful DIY skills, of course. However slowly I take the job and however hard I try, it nearly always ends in disaster:
Drill a hole in the wall? The drill bit broke. Shorten a wooden table top? The saw got stuck and the table snapped. Screw together a bed? Not enough bolts and the wrong size spanner for the nuts. Assembly a baby bouncer? The plastic leg broke. Drag a table across the room? The glass top suddenly slid off and shattered, cutting open my foot. You get the idea. Give me a computer or a blackboard any day!

2 Comments

Oh boy!

16/12/2012

I noticed this statue opposite my school the other day. I must have passed it 100 times without really looking at it properly before. It is smaller than it looks, to be fair. So, perhaps it's time for a blog update on our baby - due on April Fool's Day next year! Time is flying past.

Ava and I spent over 18 hours in the hospital, spread over four days, last week. Chinese hospitals are a frustrating mix of inefficiency, confusion and manic queues. Thankfully, we have friends of friends who help us to skip the odd queue, get fast access to experts and to phone for advice. Pity the poor countryside farmers who spend all day trying to work their way through the system - you queue early in the morning for a ticket to see a doctor, then queue to pay for the visit. Then queue to see the doctor and queue again to pay for any medicines. Another queue to hand in your prescription and a final queue to collect it. You get the idea. Ava's important 6-month scan took longer than expected too, as the baby wouldn't settle in a suitable position to view the heartbeat. It took us four attempts (interspersed with short walks, stair-climbing and jumping up and down, to try and shift the baby around!). Thankfully this test, as with all the others we've done, showed no problems at all. Ava was also keen to find out the sex of the child (for shopping purposes, you understand). Our doctor friend explained that in China it is forbidden to let parents know the child's sex (for fear of female infanticide), so technically she couldn't tell us HIS gender. We got the hint.

Thinking through and sinking in

2/11/2012

This week marks the halfway point of Jiajia's pregnancy (by my calculation) and it's certainly rushing past. Despite Jiajia still feeling sick each day, yesterday's blood test indicated all is still well with the baby (although every doctor we speak to stresses the "dangers, at your age", as if there was anything we could do about that). As the prospect of having a child gradually sinks in, we're slowly thinking through the practicalities. A baby room is gradually emerging [see photo below] and various friends have offered to donate items they no longer need (...pregnancy clothes, cot, pram, baby clothes, etc).

Little by little, I'm learning more about Chinese pregnancy superstitions. My suggestion of a relaxing bath for the wife was met with disbelief - pregnant women in China do not take baths! Then, as I had to visit the dentist today anyway (another broken tooth), I said it might be worth Ava having a check-up at the same time. Nope, pregnant women in China do not have dental work done. And with the recent sunny weather I wondered if we could get some fresh air with a car trip to the cemetary to visit Ava's Gran's grave. Gasps all round! Did I not know that cemetary visits were a sure way to lose a baby??

Primary reason

26/9/2012

0 Comments

One of my recent challenges has been running a weekly English course for teachers in Kunming's top Primary School. These are mostly teachers of Chinese and Maths who are keen to participate in the school's student exchange programme to Western countries, which requires a basic level of English from the accompanying teachers. (I'm also secretly hoping that getting known in the school might help my child's chances of being admitted there in the future! Can't hurt!).

Initially, I was told it would be a two hour lesson for 30 teachers. That turned into a one hour lesson for 25 teachers on the first week, and a 45 minute lesson for 55 teachers on the second week. Expect the unexpected in Chinese Primary Schools! The English levels of the teachers vary widely, from those who teach some English themselves to others who cannot answer "How are you?". We did manage some pairwork and role-play by the end of the second lesson though [see photo], and the teachers all seemed relaxed and enjoying the class, which is important.

0 Comments

Dancing the scan-can

25/9/2012

Ava went back to be scanned again today. After two attempts, the nurses said she may have to return again tomorrow as the baby was "jumping around too much" to get a good picture. Then suddenly it stopped moving and swung around to the perfect angle for a snapshot! After the first scan (a month ago) the nurses said they hadn't seen such a strong heartbeat for a long time. This time they said they hadn't seen such an active little baby for ages. Something tells me we have an overactive and overconfident child on the way! Anyhow, the doctor said everything looked good and healthy and we now have a hospital-free month until further tests are done. I just hope the tests are more accurate than the signage [see below].

(...and for anyone getting worried, this blog is definitely not going to dissolve into a "coochy-coochy", "lovely-dovey", "how cute", babyfest!)

Scan? Scan't!

24/9/2012

Ava and I spent this afternoon queueing for a "routine scan". Yes, for those who haven't yet heard, Ava is three months pregnant and, to be honest, hating every moment so far! Throwing up 2-3 times a day, for months on end will do that for you. It wasn't helped today by a 2½ hour wait in the hospital, beside a smelly toilet, only to be told that our baby was lying in the "wrong orientation" for scanning and we would have to return to try again tomorrow. However, we are both quietly excited at the prospect of parenthood. We know that our age complicates things a little, and I'm feeling a little lost amongst the various odd cultural practices that surround pregnancy and childhood in China (more of that later!) and ruing my poor language skills when dealing with doctors, and assistants in baby shops. But we'll muddle through and see how things pan out. "Dorta" is already getting used to the idea of Mummy giving birth [see photo]!

Old, weak and pregnant

Not just any nanny

Do it yourshelf

Nappy birth day presents

Cot something else

Christmas baby

Unstable tables and bad beds

Oh boy!

Thinking through and sinking in

Primary reason

Dancing the scan-can

Scan? Scan't!

About the author

Past blog entries

Tags