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After 20+ years in China, you'd think I'd be fluent in Chinese. You'd be wrong. I can only read 100-200 characters (JD can read 3500+) and, although I can speak enough Chinese to buy stuff and travel around, I still can't hold a decent conversation. Part of this is from not actively pursuing foreign language opportunities (I tend to mix with English-speakers - foreign and Chinese - and I don't watch Chinese TV or radio). Part is due to a wife and son who speak English and translate Chinese for me. Part is due to not being good at learning languages and a large part is just laziness.  Another small part, however, is the general lack of standard Mandarin heard here. It was interesting that I understood a lot more spoken Chinese when we were in Beijing on holiday recently. You can see from the map above just how many other dialects and languages are spoken in Yunnan (marked by a red circle). It makes for a very special, diverse Province full of ethnic minorities but it doesn't exactly help with language learning. That's my excuse, anyway!
 Really not sure what is going on here. The logo looks a bit like an ELEPHAnt, but also like an apartMENT? The Chinese doesn't help much, being translated as, "Fortunately, the elephant". Go figure!
We are amidst a string of goodbye meals, with friends, ex-students and well-wishers. This type of pot [below] is a regular sight at such banquets. It's a traditional Yunnan hotpot dish. There is a fire (or glowing embers) below and up in the central hole, which helps to keep all the surrounding food - various meat and veg - evenly hot.   ... maybe think before you attempt to spell tricky words!
In about the same time as Britain has been debating, planning and starting to build "HS2" - its high-speed rail track from London to Birmingham - China has been connecting 31 of it 33 provincial regions with 40,000km (25,000 miles) of high speed railway. Maybe there's something to be said for Governments who don't have to worry about public opinion!!  These were the most Chinglish of a list of lift rules I spotted earlier this week:  (I wonder which civilizations used to keep the car clean!?)
 We did some spelling work now and again on our recent China Tour but, now that the trip is over, JD has returned to his daily homeschool work. He spent most of today writing a report and blog entries about his holiday (while I do more packing). He prefers to use his computer to writing by hand, but I force him to write with a pen more often than not - nobody's spelling improves by simply hitting the spellcheck button!
Some great examples of Chinglish from our Grand Tour trip!     JD and I flew back to Kunming today after a brilliant two weeks of holiday. Jiajia is staying in Shanghai for a few more days of business.  The trip felt like a practice run for moving to the UK - packing, flying, settling into new accommodation, experiencing new things. Not long now...
We flew to Shanghai yesterday. Jiajia has some business there and so while she worked, JD and I visited Disneyworld there for the day. This is the sixth Disney I've been to (USAx2, Euro, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Shanghai), completing the set. It was JD's second, though he has no recollection of the first Hong Kong visit. And he was desperate to ride his first rollercoaster!
We packed in a full day; 4D Pirate ride, Pirate stunt show, Pirate ship exploration, Seven Dwarfs Mine ride, Water Splash canyon, Rock Climbing experience, Winnie's Hunny Pot ride, meet the Pirates [see above right], Peter Pan flying ride, Disney Parade & Tron rollercoaster!
We visited the Terracotta Army today, having booked our tickets a week ago. It's changed a lot since the last two times I've been there. Queues to get security checked, more queues to check tickets, a bus to take you to the site, more queues to enter and then thousands (literally) of Chinese tourists pushing and shoving to get a view of the statues.
JD and Jiajia were very impressive with the attraction though, it being their first time, and the attached museum was a little quieter and showed off the craftsmanship and detail of some of the best-preserved soldiers.
We flew from Beijing to Xi'An yesterday and settled into the Sheraton - another 5* hotel. Today we walked to the walls which surround the old city. At the top you can hire bikes and cycle around the whole 13km walls. JD was keen, despite his still healing leg, so off we went! 
After completing the trip, and a welcome ice-cream we headed for the Big Goose Pagoda which Jiajia had always wanted to visit.  It took half an hour by taxi to reach it. JD was flagging a bit by then after all the cycling, and I'd seen the Pagoda before, so Jiajia explored it by herself and enjoyed the Buddhist museum displays. Then we headed back to our hotel for a rest followed by a relaxing swim in the hotel pool. Yesterday, we moved from a small but well-located hotel to a gorgeous 5* hotel for a few nights of luxury. Jiajia and I left JD there to rest this morning while we explored TianTan - The Temple of Heaven - where the Emperor would traditionally pray for a good harvest each year.  Its design and colour are pretty unique, and it was built without any metal nails. After exploring the surrounding park, Jiajia and I returned to the hotel and I took JD for a swim in their indoor pool. We were the only ones there.
I've visited the Great Wall 4-5 times in the past, in various places, so I suggested we head for the less crowded MuTianYu section today and we were delighted to find peace and space after recent crowded days. We took an hour's taxi there and a cable car to get up the mountain.
JD was still limping, so we only walked an hour or so along the wall before returning. But we saw a lot and were mightily impressed.
Yesterday evening, on the way back from a restaurant meal with Beijing friends of ours, JD stumbled on a broken bollard, and fell flat on his front. With a badly scraped knee and bruised leg, we feared he might be in no fit state to tackle today's trip - the Forbidden City....
We took over an hour to find the entrance but eventually we passed through the security checks and into the massive Palace complex. I'd been there twice before, but Jiajia was looking forward to exploring the museums inside for the first time. However, it was a really hot day, with huge, noisy crowds everywhere and JD hobbling. So we quickly decided to stick to the main central route through the City without investigating the side areas. It still took two hours.   The last time I was in Beijing in the 1990s, Tiananmen Square was somewhere where you turned up and just wandered about. Now you need to book your visit 5 days in advance and pass through three different security checks to get anywhere close.  After seeing the Square (declining the two hour queue to see Chairman Mao's embalmed body - I've seen it before) we headed for the nearby National Museum (also booked 5 days ago). More security checks and long queues. The items displayed were very impressive, but the place was packed with Chinese (very few foreigners) so we just gave it a few hours before heading back to our hotel.
Jiajia, JD and I are heading for the sights. We've planned a 2 week trip to let JD see the most famous places in his country of birth before we leave for good. Today we flew to Beijing via the small town of ZhongWei for some reason. We were the only aeroplane in the airport!
 When a new gym opened down the bottom of our hill some 8 years ago, Jiajia and I popped in for a quick look but were put off by the price and their insistence on a long-term commitment. But recently JD has been asking to see the fitness machines and the small pool and, to cut a long story short, charmed them into giving us a cheap 5-visit price - £25 total for the two of us - plus a free session to start with. So JD and I have been doing an hour's run and a half hour swim lately. We both need to lose some weight!
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 AuthorPaul Hider started this blog to share his rather odd life living in China for over 20 years. Since returning to the UK in 2024, the blog now records his more "normal" lifestyle! Past blog entries
May 2025
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