Ocean of Morality
  • Blog
  • Family
  • Relatives
  • Countries
  • Gallery
  • Guestbook

Unshellfish

29/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
Some of Jiajia's well-to-do customers go to quite extraordinary lengths to show their gratitude for her special help and generous discounts. Last week, one such lady had a box of live crabs airmailed to us from Suzhou, 2500km (1600 miles) away. So yesterday we invited some friends over to help us eat them. I didn't partake myself, because of possible gout repercussions, but I did enjoy watching JD's mix of curiosity and revulsion as he gingerly fingered one of the (dead) hairy creatures. Very funny.

0 Comments

Here toady, gone tomorrow

27/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
JD loves his comfortable frog seat .... most of the time!
0 Comments

Conn-trast

26/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
Having access to Facebook once again (via my new VPN) has re-ignited a lot of old memories, as names and faces from my distant past pop up on the screen with all their latest news. And old photos such as this one bring back a flood of nostalgic recollections. This was a story in an American newspaper where I and seven fellow students from Westminster College, Oxford, were asked to contrast our usual UK place of learning with the much larger Connecticut College where we were studying for four months on exchange [I'm far left]. Most of us had a fabulous time there, although the article does lament the lack of custard! For me, it was notably the place where I cemented my love of (solo) travelling, heading off for a 3 week trip alone around Eastern US on a shoe-string budget (hence being a registered vagrant in Florida ...free bed and breakfast! Woohoo!).

0 Comments

Ah, no! Why? Yes!

24/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
Some Chinglish I spotted in the countryside recently.
0 Comments

Screw it

22/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
JD found this outside on the ground the other day. What is it? A screw without a screwdriver groove? Or a nail with a thread? Baffling!
0 Comments

Closed for business

20/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
I walked past this shop at the weekend.
0 Comments

50, not out

18/11/2014

1 Comment

 
And, after being unable to update my blog for nearly a week because the "powers that be" here recently decide to block Weebly, my wife decided to give me a year's VPN subscription as my birthday present. This is special software which links me with servers that bypass the "Great Firewall of China" and allow me access to Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and, most importantly, my blog! So, all being well, look out for my occasional visits to Facebook this year too!
Picture
So here it is. I'm 50. "Officially old" as Esme, my niece, pointed out in a video I watched today. Josh, my nephew, added, "I thought my parents were old, but you....!" Neither comment as gutting as my sister-in-law accidently referring to me as her children's "granddad" before swiftly correcting herself with, "err... I mean uncle"! Great!! 
My other brother's family sent this more respectful piccie below:
I'm off to the north of Kunming this afternoon to share a Burger King meal and watch "Interstellar" at the cinema there with friends. Less fun was waking up today to find that our water has been cut off again.
1 Comment

Blow out

17/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
After my first weekend back at work since having pneumonia, I coughed my way through a very enjoyable buffet Birthday Meal yesterday with 30 friends and family, Chinese and foreigners. We had just one candle per decade on the cake to avoid any risk of breaking fire safety protocols!
0 Comments

5o strange... (pt 5)

16/11/2014

5 Comments

 
Picture

And so here ends my list of the fifty craziest things I've found myself doing over the first half-century of my life!

41. Thirty dwarves danced for me
42. I was within an arm's length of a wild hippo
43. I played cards for 24 hours non-stop
44. I sang and danced on a school desk in front of an angry teacher
45. I hit Cliff Richard
46. I wrote a speech which was read out in Parliament
47. I climbed a mountain in 0
ºC temperatures to visit a monastery
48. I own part of a windmill
49. I watched a witch doctor sacrifice a chicken
50. I travelled in Concorde
5 Comments

5o strange... (pt 4)

15/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture

The penultimate list of the fifty oddest things I can recall doing in my fifty years of life so far:

31. I walked into an off-license dressed as a ghost and asked the shopkeeper if he served spirits
32. I watched two stag beetles having a fight
33. I have visited all 5 Disneylands in the world
34. I touched something which had touched the moon
35. I jumped out of a hot air balloon
36. I had two students in my class who were born within a few minutes of each other to the same mother, but weren’t twins…
37. I visited a gallery devoted to art made by the criminally insane
38. I got lost in an aircraft carrier
39. I won a clay pigeon shooting competition
40. I saw a machine gun being fired inside a building
...more tomorrow
0 Comments

5o strange... (pt 3)

14/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture

More of the fifty strangest things I've done in my virtually 50 years of life so far...

21. I bumped into a wild elephant
22. I sailed in a 20m yacht which was later attacked by pirates
23. I asked Patrick Moore a question I knew the answer to
24. A landslide once forced me to climb over a mountain
25. I appeared in a Radio 4 play
26. I fell into the Zambezi river
27. I chatted with Rolf Harris as he wandered around my school
28. I sat in the cockpit of a 747 jumbo jet flying to America
29. I have climbed volcanoes in three different continents
30. I saw a world record being set
...more tomorrow
0 Comments

5o strange... (pt 2)

13/11/2014

2 Comments

 
Picture

Here are the second ten in my list of the 50 most unusual "experiences" in my almost 50 years of life so far. 

11. I ate bees
12. I saw the first single by a famous 80s band being cut
13. I arrived in Iceland, in Winter, without a coat
14. My bus was narrowly missed by a TV-sized falling boulder
15. I was locked inside a park
16. I paid good money to see a freak show
17. I suffered from “raptures of the deep”
18. I wandered around the Pentagon
19. I fell into a vat of whitewash
20. I ripped my skin open during a 110m bungee jump
...more tomorrow
2 Comments

5o strange... (pt 1)

12/11/2014

1 Comment

 
Picture
With my 50th birthday coming next week, I thought I would reflect a little on my life so far, and came up with a list of the 50 most unusual things I have ever "experienced". Here are the first ten:

1. I was nearly kidnapped by two fake Bolivian policemen
2. I’m a registered homeless person in Florida
3. I was in a bus which forded a metre-deep river in a thunderstorm
4. I visited a travelling zoo whose tiny cages included an eagle, an ostrich and a tiger
5. I was kicked off a Polish train
6. I scuba dived to within a metre of a 2m-long shark …without a cage
7. The inside of an Egyptian pyramid disappointed me
8. I pressed the red button in a nuclear missile silo
9. I showered with 30 naked strangers
10. I sneaked into North Korea

...more tomorrow!
1 Comment

Pa-made with marmalade

11/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Ava asked me to make some fresh bread in our breadmaker yesterday. I added all the ingredients but, 3 hours later, had to chip out a rock-hard lump of brown stuff. It turned out ma-in-law had decided to refill the flour bag with casava powder which looks the same but simply doesn't make bread. It's cheaper though, she explained.
Picture
A second attempt with proper flour turned out great. JD enjoyed the fresh bread, butter and marmalade so much that he smeared it all on his head. So his hair was marmalade-sticky until bathtime.
0 Comments

The Chinese are coming!

9/11/2014

0 Comments

 
My latest published article in the "Chinese Cultural Group - Merton" newsletter is about the increasing mobility of the Chinese...
Picture
Full Autumn 14 newsletter
File Size: 1724 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

0 Comments

Pneumonia? Old moanier!

7/11/2014

5 Comments

 
Picture
The rest of the family's coughs seem to be fading fast. I'm still struggling with mine and the exhaustion which is, apparently, very much a symptom of pneumonia. I walked down the hill yesterday on a chore and had to sit down in the supermarket for 5 minutes to recover! The walk back up the hill meant a half hour resting on my bed. Crazy.

After missing only one class in the last seven years working at Robert's School, I'm now facing a second weekend off work, which will mean 18 classes missed in total! Thank goodness for an understanding boss.
5 Comments

Cam down

5/11/2014

4 Comments

 
Picture
I saw this Chinglish earlier this year when I took a cable car ride a few months ago with Ava, my brother Dave and his daughter Esme. Can you work out what the "tock" should be?
4 Comments

KongLong

3/11/2014

0 Comments

 
"KongLong" - just one of the many words JD has learned to say in the last week or two ...."dinosaur"! He also surprised me the other day by saying "dao" when he saw a knife - not sure who taught him that. He can also say, "digger", "bulldozer", "crane", "mixer" ...guess where his interests lie! Then, when I suggested to our Nanny in Chinese yesterday that JD might like some "xiangjiao", JD immediately jumped up and shouted, "banana!". That's the first time he's clearly "translated" one language to another.
Picture
For those following the family's health situation, basically we've all got hacking coughs; JD, Nanny, Ma, Ava and I. Mine is the remnants of pneumonia, while everyone else's is apparently a regular (if very tiring) cough. That's not stopped all the women downing antibiotics though. They are wildly overused here - bought over the counter and taken (seldom a full course) for any slight cough or cold. Highly inappropriate but, try as I might, they will not be convinced.
0 Comments

TWERp!

1/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
Brownie points for anyone deciphering this.
I'm thinking TWER might be tower, but still...?
0 Comments
    paul hider

    Author

    Paul Hider lives and works in Kunming (SW China) and regularly updates this blog about his life there.

    Past blog entries

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    November 2009
    October 2009
    September 2009
    August 2009
    July 2009

    Tags

    All
    April Fool
    Basketball
    Birthday
    Blog
    CAL
    Car
    Cataract
    Cemetery
    China
    Chinglish
    Chippenham
    ChongQing
    Christmas
    Competition
    Construction
    Cooking
    Cop15
    Countryside
    COVID
    Dali
    Dancing Lady
    Dave & Esme
    Den
    Dentist
    Disaster
    DnD
    Dorta
    Druncle
    Earthquake
    Ebike
    Education
    Everton
    Exams
    Exercise
    Family
    Film
    Fishing
    Flashback
    Food
    Forest
    Fossils
    Friends
    Furniture
    Games
    Gardening
    Geese
    Gym
    Halloween
    Hamsters
    Health
    Heijing
    Holiday
    Home
    Homework
    IELTS
    IKEA
    Illusion
    JD
    Jiajia
    Kindergarten
    Kunming
    Language
    Laos
    Lattitude
    Leaf
    Lego
    Lexulous
    London
    Ma
    Mandarin
    Merton
    Minority
    Molly
    Mountain
    Movie
    Museum
    Nancy & Family
    Nanny
    Neighbourhood
    New Flat
    Olympics
    Painting
    Parents
    Park
    Party
    Paul & Crystal
    Pets
    Podcast
    Police
    Pregnancy
    Primary School
    Private Tuition
    Random Travel
    Relatives
    Renovation
    R.I.P.
    R.S.L.
    Running
    Schools
    Shenzhen
    Shopping
    Ski
    Sport
    Spring Festival
    Sri Lanka
    Swimming
    Temple
    TESOL
    Thailand
    Theme Park
    Traffic
    Training
    Transport
    Travel
    TV
    UFO
    UK
    University
    Vietnam
    Violence
    Visit
    VSO
    Water
    Weather
    Wedding
    Wildlife
    World Cup
    Xishuangbanna
    YUFE
    Yunnan
    Zoo
    Zoom

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.