A seemingly unbelievable story emerged in the Chinese press recently of a miner, Cheung Wai, who had been accidentally found after being trapped underground for ...wait for it ...seventeen years!! An earthquake in 1997 had collapsed the mine and, believing no one could have survived, the mine was closed and funerals were held for all 79 miners. Yet, when another mine opened up it again this year, they found this poor man who had been trapped there all these years, saved by a ventilation duct which still connected his underground prison to the surface, and an emergency stash of food and water, designed to keep 80 men alive for a month or two. Wai had complemented his diet by eating rats and moss and had managed to bury each of his co-workers during his first year underground. What a story! The previous record for surviving underground was 142 days by a British guy, Geoff Smith, who had been voluntarily buried in the backyard of the Railway Inn, his favorite pub, specifically to try and break the record. If true, Cheung Wai has blown that away! Our school has been short-listed to introduce a "Creative Thinking" course to Kunming which has already been run successfully around the world and in other Chinese cities. Some of the foreign teachers at my school, along with our Sunday morning students, attended a demo workshop recently to see what it was all about. It was led by a guy called John Biggs who admitted to me afterwards that he had run that particular class hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times before. It still came across as fresh though and, not surprisingly, very polished. With a few tweaks I can see it being really useful for Chinese students for whom "being creative" is severely undervalued, compared to learning and reciting facts, passing exams etc. Whether it can make any money for the school is another matter. Today's Kunming Post announced that a solution to Yunnan’s water shortage may have finally been found. Chinese scientists have worked out a clever way to drain the clouds surrounding the Province’s many mountains of their water by electrifying them via antennae erected on the peaks [see photo above]. This reclaimed vapour can then be desiccated and stored for future droughts. A single bottle of water added to the powder results in ten bottles of drinkable water. Chinese ingenuity never ceases to amaze me. I was walking down the street yesterday when a car right in front of me pulled out and smashed straight into an electric bike. As the bike rider lay on the road moaning, I watched to see who would take charge. Nobody. The car driver started chatting to her husband. The traffic coming along the street bumped up on the kerb to get past. Onlookers stood around and stared. I'd heard before this is the typical reaction to accidents in China, but I'd not seen it up close before. I grabbed a teenager who was having a look and told him to call the police. "No phone", he replied. "Use mine" I said, removing my jumper to put under the victim's head. So he rang the police who, rather impressively, arrived within five minutes. "Get up!" they barked at the moped rider showing little sympathy. "My leg, my leg", she cried back and the cops finally relented and called for an ambulance. Five minutes later my phone rang - a stranger asking for directions in Chinese. Luckily, I guessed it was the ambulance driver and passed my phone to the policemen, somewhat to his surprise! Once the ambulance arrived, I retrieved my phone and my jumper and headed off, a little shaken but with a new perspective on Chinese attitudes. A wise colleague of mine described it thus: Chinese friend/family ties are really strong, as is their patriotism for the country. But, in between those two, strangers get little respect or help. People feel their "duty" lies elsewhere. And for one unfortunate lady yesterday it lay in the road.
A new shopping centre near our house (with mostly empty shops so far) has sprouted a very British phonebox and pillarbox outside. Jiajia and I took JD down the road to investigate the other day - a 20 minute walk. It's most incongruous to see them on the pavement as I head past them on the bus on the way to work. Nothing inside them, mind you, and I daren't post a letter in the pillarbox. It's risky enough sending something from a proper Post Office! Spotted this family of five yesterday, risking life and limb all crammed onto an electric bike. Still, the driver is wearing a "crash helmet"...!?
It's official: I'm now a multi-billionaire! I bought this ten billion yuan note in the local market the other day (for 1 jiao = 1p). They usually get bought in bundles to be burned on graves at Spring Festival so that one's ancestors want for nothing in the afterlife. But my plan is simply not to burn it. Brilliant, right? Then, I just have to find a little shop with a distracted shopkeeper who will give me change from my ten billion note. Watch this space...
While Britain gets all upset when microscopic traces of horse meat are found in its beef lasagne, China has to face up to the bizarre news that its much-loved donkey meat(!?) has been found to have been contaminated with ...errr ...fox!? Click here for more! Long-term readers might recall a similar blog entry to this some years ago. Ma-in-law was given this 1 yuan note the other day and showed it to me. I've seen one before, but they are rare. The Chinese, stamped on the note in green ink so as not to stand out too much (and deliberately blurred here, just in case), says, "Everyone should stop being a Communist Party member or they will meet a very bad ending. Ring the international telephone number on the right to sign out of Chinese party." I daren't ring it. But then again, I'm not actually a Party member, so...
JD has been sitting unaided for a while now and waves at people, teddy bears and, somewhat bizarrely, lightbulbs...!? After three weeks of processing a visa for JD's British passport, we felt we were getting close ...until yesterday, when the Public Security Bureau (PSB) asked us to bring JD in for an "interview"! We pointed out he is only 7 months old but they insisted it was necessary for all new visa applicants!? Then, on arrival, we were told quite bluntly that he wouldn't be getting a visa at all. Bit of a shock. Had he failed the "interview"? Eventually, I was taken to a private office where one of the leaders of the PSB, who spoke excellent English, explained that by law any child born in China with one or more Chinese parents is considered to have Chinese nationality. And the Chinese don't allow dual citizenship. Therefore his British passport is not recognised and so they can't give him a visa. The only way to get JD's British passport recognised is to renounce his Chinese citizenship - a lengthy process best done as and when the family decide to move abroad to live. In the meantime, the PSB provide a special Entry/Exit paper on request to allow JD to leave China for up to 3 months. Why this wasn't made clear three weeks ago and why JD was "required" to travel across the city for an interview that was never going to happen, is anyone's guess. This is China!
Barely a day goes by when you don't read about some bizarre thing happening in China. Jiajia and I have a standing joke that I'll read out a short and bizarre news anecdote from my UK newspaper and ask her which country it emanates from. Always China of course. Latest bonkers news story was a Chinese driver whose car was squashed flat by a shipping container which slipped off a passing truck. And amazingly, she survived! Only in China.
Buying electrical goods in China leaves one with a decision to make. Buy Chinese and expect it to last a few years, or buy foreign (Japanese or Korean, usually), pay more, but expect it to last 10+ years. Jiajia and I splashed out last year on a widescreen, wifi, HD, 3D monster of a TV and went with a western brand. Annoying then to find it having a major problem, requiring an engineer to come out (albeit under warranty) to replace a circuit board. I was most surprised, however, to see just how little electronics there is in a modern TV [see above]. I mean, 80% of the space is empty. We're hoping it will all be fixed before the nanny arrives back from holiday. She enjoys her evening TV while rocking JD to sleep. [It's a Panasonic, actually, but I couldn't think of a good pun title!]
I spotted this sage wisdom on a baby clothes plastic wrapper yesterday. The blanked out section contains the names of famous people listed by the company as examples of great character for babies to aspire to. No Chinese names (sorry, Chairman Mao), and you'll have heard of all four of them, so how many can you guess before clicking below to see the answer? Guess first now - no cheating!
I remember when I was a child, you could buy "sweet cigarettes" in newsagents and pretend to be "grown up" by sucking on a fake cigarette. How times have changed. But here in China something similar is all the rage at the moment. These malt-based soft drinks [see photo], marketed at children, don't actually have any alcohol in them, but look and smell like the real thing. I've had two of my students drinking them in class, joking with me that they are bottles of beer. Thankfully, alcohol abuse is less of a problem in China than, say, Britain but it's still a pretty despicable ploy by the drinks company. Today is JD's 100th day - a key day of celebration in China (presumably because the chance of an infant death after 100 days was considerably less in days gone by). Parents often have large parties for family and friends, but we've decided to keep it low key as everyone has already been so generous on the gift front and we didn't want people to feel obliged to give more (as they usually do on these occasions). Ava bought JD a new stroller however, and I made him (...err, bought him) a car-shaped cake. He's now "officially" allowed to get out and explore the wider world, so I hope to take him to my school soon so all the staff can finally have a prod and a cuddle. The Chinese lay claim to many of the world's great inventions (gun powder, paper, the compass, table tennis, etc) but I was impressed to see them proudly explaining why graffiti started in China. Apparently hip-hop and rap can be traced back to the Tang Dynasty. Who knew? I saw this sign (alongside some very tasteful and uplifting examples of said graffiti) at the top of the mountain where I often go running while visiting Shezhen. It's a taxing 45-minute run up a paved pathway, overlooking a reservoir, and then a 30 minute jog back down again. But yesterday I decided to try and continue running over the mountain and on to wherever the pathway led. I took 100RMB (£10) with me and a handwritten note with my address on it, planning to catch a taxi back "home" once I got to the end, or got too exhausted to continue. After 45 minutes running to the top, the pathway started to go downhill. Then uphill, downhill, uphill, downhill... no signs of any exit off the mountain. I finally had to quit after a further hour of running and managed to scramble down the hill. But no taxis - I was walking along a motorway. Finally, I found an underground station but had no idea in which direction I should take, or which station was nearest my flat. I finally spotted "North Railway Station" a few stops away and, sure enough, there was a taxi there which got me home after 2½ hours out and about in the 34ºC heat and humidity. Dorta has been getting a lot less attention these days, but still surfaces now and again to ensure she is not completely forgotton! JD is 2 months old today. He's quite well-known in the neighbourhood now and gets lots of attention when we take him for walks in the sunshine. The fresh air sends him to sleep almost immediately, however, so the locals rarely see his big brown eyes. [Click here for more photos of JD's early months]
Here's how the local paper illustrated the latest violence between the police and certain Uighur men in the north-west province of XinJiang. The Chinese media paints the picture as heroic government forces defeating separatist terrorists. As ever, there might be other interpretations but I'll leave that to less censored press reports. Suffice to say 21 died in the most recent clash, 15 of them police and security guards, which is saddening whatever the reason. But I doubt it will be the last violence in that sensitive region.
Jiajia and I took a drive out to a town called FuMin the other day. We managed to pick the first day of heavy rain here in over 6 months. After a wet walk around the market, we headed for a popular out-of-town restaurant and enjoyed some local food. On our earlier walk, we spotted this old farmhouse which retains a just-legible slogan from the 1950s. Jiajia was able to work out the missing characters to reveal the exhortation, which says "Learn from other villages. Let barren mountains be fruitful". All good stuff, and amazing it's lasted this long.
I bought some envelopes for a total of 4RMB last week. I gave the young worker at the Post Office a 10RMB note and was gobsmacked when she proceeded to pull a calculator out of the drawer and tap in "10-4=" before giving me my 6RMB change. She’s working in a Post Office for goodness sake!? TiC - This is China! Ava and I went to the local clinic last week to register “JD” for his vaccinations. We’d been told to bring documents A and B but, on arrival, they also asked for document C. To get C, they said, we needed to go to the main hospital and provide documents D and E. At the main hospital, they took D and E but also needed document F, which was a request note from the original clinic. Back at the clinic, we were quickly given document F but asked them why they hadn't given it to us before. “You didn’t ask for it”, they replied. “But we asked what the hospital needed, and you just said documents D and E”. A shrug of the shoulders. Back at the hospital we provide F as well as D and E and they give us C. Back to the clinic for the third time to find they are on their 2½ hour lunch break. TiC! Back at the clinic yesterday, with JD in tow, we lined up for our injection. There was some surprise at seeing a mixed race baby and, as we signed our names, the nurse subtly mentioned to Ava that whilst the injection was free, we might consider buying the "branded version" at 100RMB (£10). Were we being cheated, or was it all the other mothers getting the short straw? We paid. On the way home, I stopped off at a small shop to buy some special Sony batteries. The shopkeeper bought out two options which looked identical but were marked at 10RMB and 25RMB respectively. I asked him what the difference was. "These ones are real", he replied. Fake goods in every aspect of life. TiC! And last week, at the gym where I play badminton, there were a number of people smorking, despite the prominent “No Smorking” sign above their heads. When we asked them to stop, they moved outside without a fuss. However, we also mentioned to the staff at the gym that people were smorking, despite their signs. We returned this week to find all the “No Smorking” signs had been removed!? Not what we had in mind at all. But TiC! I spent yesterday "tree-planting". This is a traditional Chinese activity which purports to battle environmental problems in a visible way. I was one of 40 foreigners who had been invited to a sanatorium - a hotel, medical facility and training centre for stressed-out government workers - next to a big (and ironically very polluted) lake. The "Yunnan Trade Unions Foreign Affairs Department" had organised it as part of their "May 1st, International Labour Day" celebrations. I was representing our school as Robert, my boss, is on holiday in Sri Lanka. There were "foreign experts" from ten different countries and many professional backgrounds - education, development, agriculture, environmenal protection, industry, etc. I managed to plant three trees (the holes had been pre-dug) and chose one to hang my label on [see below]. My own tree! Then it was various speeches and a buffet banquet which included "dog meat sausage". That threw us for a while until the penny dropped - a HOT dog sausage! I've been on dozens of these government-sponsored jollies celebrating "profound and everlasting international friendship" and feared the worst. But it was efficiently run, sunny weather, free coffee, short speeches and good food. So I can't complain too much. We even got given a free yellow cap and thermos flask. Result! Buses hit lamp posts all over the word, but only in China could a lamp post actually hit a bus. Full story here.
I was sent this fun diagram the other day. There's a blank space though: any ideas what Brits or Chinese could be running to or from?
Does this world map look odd to you? It won't to any Chinese readers, but those from other countries might wonder why China appears in the centre rather than Britain (London is, after all, at 0°longitude). Well, "China" in Chinese (中国) translates as "Middle Kingdom", so all Chinese maps place their country in the middle of the world! I guess Britain did the same when we imposed our maps on the world. So Chinese maps have the annoying effect of squashing all the land masses around the edge. And when you teach directions, as I had to this week, it all gets a bit confusing. China is in the Far East, despite being in the middle. Europe is on the left, in the West, yet America is on the right, also in the West. I asked a Chinese teacher how students cope with having two Wests and no East. She said she'd never noticed and students just learn about China geography anyway! It does help explain my students' woeful world knowledge. "Africa is in Brazil", according to one this week.
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AuthorPaul Hider lives and works in Kunming (SW China) and regularly updates this blog about his life there. Past blog entries
May 2024
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