After my first weekend back at work since having pneumonia, I coughed my way through a very enjoyable buffet Birthday Meal yesterday with 30 friends and family, Chinese and foreigners. We had just one candle per decade on the cake to avoid any risk of breaking fire safety protocols!
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And so here ends my list of the fifty craziest things I've found myself doing over the first half-century of my life! 41. Thirty dwarves danced for me
42. I was within an arm's length of a wild hippo 43. I played cards for 24 hours non-stop 44. I sang and danced on a school desk in front of an angry teacher 45. I hit Cliff Richard 46. I wrote a speech which was read out in Parliament 47. I climbed a mountain in 0ºC temperatures to visit a monastery 48. I own part of a windmill 49. I watched a witch doctor sacrifice a chicken 50. I travelled in Concorde The penultimate list of the fifty oddest things I can recall doing in my fifty years of life so far: 31. I walked into an off-license dressed as a ghost and asked the shopkeeper if he served spirits 32. I watched two stag beetles having a fight 33. I have visited all 5 Disneylands in the world 34. I touched something which had touched the moon 35. I jumped out of a hot air balloon 36. I had two students in my class who were born within a few minutes of each other to the same mother, but weren’t twins… 37. I visited a gallery devoted to art made by the criminally insane 38. I got lost in an aircraft carrier 39. I won a clay pigeon shooting competition 40. I saw a machine gun being fired inside a building ...more tomorrow
More of the fifty strangest things I've done in my virtually 50 years of life so far... 21. I bumped into a wild elephant 22. I sailed in a 20m yacht which was later attacked by pirates 23. I asked Patrick Moore a question I knew the answer to 24. A landslide once forced me to climb over a mountain 25. I appeared in a Radio 4 play 26. I fell into the Zambezi river 27. I chatted with Rolf Harris as he wandered around my school 28. I sat in the cockpit of a 747 jumbo jet flying to America 29. I have climbed volcanoes in three different continents 30. I saw a world record being set ...more tomorrow
Here are the second ten in my list of the 50 most unusual "experiences" in my almost 50 years of life so far. 11. I ate bees 12. I saw the first single by a famous 80s band being cut 13. I arrived in Iceland, in Winter, without a coat 14. My bus was narrowly missed by a TV-sized falling boulder 15. I was locked inside a park 16. I paid good money to see a freak show 17. I suffered from “raptures of the deep” 18. I wandered around the Pentagon 19. I fell into a vat of whitewash 20. I ripped my skin open during a 110m bungee jump ...more tomorrow
With my 50th birthday coming next week, I thought I would reflect a little on my life so far, and came up with a list of the 50 most unusual things I have ever "experienced". Here are the first ten: 1. I was nearly kidnapped by two fake Bolivian policemen 2. I’m a registered homeless person in Florida 3. I was in a bus which forded a metre-deep river in a thunderstorm 4. I visited a travelling zoo whose tiny cages included an eagle, an ostrich and a tiger 5. I was kicked off a Polish train 6. I scuba dived to within a metre of a 2m-long shark …without a cage 7. The inside of an Egyptian pyramid disappointed me 8. I pressed the red button in a nuclear missile silo 9. I showered with 30 naked strangers 10. I sneaked into North Korea ...more tomorrow!
My online weblog celebrates its 9th Birthday today, five of which have been on this Weebly platform. I started it (on a Yahoo blog service) as I joined VSO for a second time back in August 2005 and have averaged an entry every other day since then - over 1600 entries! Thanks to those of you who pop in for a read every now and again. It makes the effort worthwhile. Do add a message in the "Guestbook" above if you have a moment sometimes. Happy Birthday, Blog! JD seemed to really enjoy his birthday yesterday, perhaps sensing there was something special about the day. We started off by slowly opening all the presents we've received from friends and family over recent days and weeks. He concentrated well and was thrilled by the wrapping paper! But he's received some lovely books, toys and cards as well as some generous Hongbao (red envelope) monetary gifts. We then played a traditional Chinese game to divine JD's future! Faced with 8 objects representing different possible career paths, he plumped for the abacus (followed by the pen and paper ...and then tried to swallow a dumpling. So, following in his Dad's (maths) and Mum's (art) interests, eh? We'll not go into the dietary side, I think. JD's present from his parents was a trike which is pushable and steerable by us, but is also convertible to pedals and self-steering as he grows and gets more confident. For now, mastering how the bell worked was his biggest thrill, as can be seen. Our old friends (that's "long-term" old, not "ageing" old) Peter and Judy are back in Kunming, and kindly managed a long trip across the city to join us for dinner this evening. It was lovely to see them again, introduce JD (who wasn't even "a twinkle" when they were last here) and catch up on each others' news. They came very laden with gifts. I told them it felt like being visited by the three wise men. Except there was only two of them... and they aren't both men.... and their presents were much better than myrrh etc. They are certainly wise, though. I recall they gave Jiajia and I an hour's "marriage counselling" before we'd actually got married (and yet we still tied the knot!). And what gifts! Books and sweets and biscuits for JD, fashion mags for Jiajia, a collectable plate for Ma, sweets and cup-a-soups for me, a birthday gift for Jiajia, a birthday gift for JD, a British newspaper for me, etc, etc! Very kind indeed.
It was International Women's Day yesterday (What do you mean you had no idea? It's huge here!). It was also the wife's birthday. She had a clutch of presents and cards from my family/friends in the UK, and from JD and I [see below]. From her Mum, a shop-bought cake. From her brother, nothing. Not even a "Happy Birthday, sis!" as he scoffed down a slice of cake. (He turned up unannounced a month ago from Laos, where he lives, and has been kipping on our sofa ever since). Jiajia wasn't particularly upset though - she hadn't ever celebrated her birthday before going out with me. And she did get Birthday Wishes in texts from her bank and three airline companies!? It's a strange family I've married into. It is our good friend Gemma's birthday today and, despite her being off travelling somewhere between Bali and Australia at the moment, we decided to buy her a gift for when she returns. So meet "Gemma", the orange fish above. And when we found out how cheap the fish were (Sorry, Gemma! 2RMB each = 20p a fish!) we decided to buy two more to keep her company. Meet "George" (black) and "Margaret" (white) named after the G & M in Gemma's name - purely coincidental that my parents share the names (...Jiajia chose them, honest!). Wonder how long they'll survive for (...the fish, that is, not my parents)? Were we meant to buy food or something?
Many thanks to my UK friend Vix, for a postal-delayed birthday present which arrived last weekend. Vix always comes up with unusual presies and unique handmade cards (this year's featuring an "Everton Lane" street sign). Her presie was a selection of comical clothes and hair drawings on sticks which can be held up in front of a camera to alter someone's appearance (without the need for Photoshop!). I thought it was a rather a clever low-tech idea, though Jiajia was not at all impressed! I'm quite good at keeping presents unopened until the actual day itself, be it birthday, Christmas etc. But not Jiajia; for her, presents get opened on receipt, even when they are not actually hers (she claims it's because she never received any as a child). So it wasn't a huge surprise to find all my presents unwrapped within hours of her returning from her recent stock-purchasing trip to Shenzhen. Two days early. And MY presents! Still, I managed to hide some cards, and open them (and various e-messages) on the right day. Next year will be the "BIG 5-0", of course, but in the meantime I'll enjoy being a "square number" (7x7) for the first time in a decade, and for the last time before retirement! I had a nice birthday last week, despite it being a working day and feeling dizzy throughout (I'm back under the doctor after 6 months of good health). Ava, Ma-in-law and I went out for a local Chinese meal in the evening. Ma-in-law surprised me by buying a rather yummy birthday cake [see photo]. Bear in mind that Ava has never once had a cake bought for her by her Mum and doesn't get as much as a card on her birthday. Maybe my charm offensive is working? Then, on the following evening, Ava and I went out for a Pizza Hut meal, using her friend's special half-price discount card! Food tastes better when it's a bargain. Ma-in-law may have been a bit annoyed at missing out on this meal, as a lot of the cake had been eaten by the time we arrived home. Dorta was blamed, but the evidence seemed a little bit dubious! My birthday yesterday started fairly quietly with Jiajia in Shenzhen on business and Ma-in-law having taken herself off to hospital. But once I was at school, I had some lovely surprises. Throughout the afternoon, many of the teaching staff came to my desk, one by one, with a single rose and lovely handwritten messages - 35 in all. I still don't know who co-ordinated that. Later, in the evening, while waiting for my students to arrive, I was told there was a last-second change of classroom. A bit annoyed at the short notice I walked to the new room, only to find my students, their parents and the school administration staff waiting for me with a decorated classroom, birthday cake, presents and a live guitarist playing! I was really taken by surrpise - a lovely end to the day. My wife, it turns out, can't resist opening presents early, even if they aren't presents sent for her! So within half an hour of receiving an intriguing parcel from my parents last week, I found a furry arm poking out of it. Ava claimed she heard bear-like cries for help from inside! My parents had sent me "Big Ted" for my birthday. I was given him when I was a baby, and he was bigger than I was then. Twice I've tried to take him back to China and twice had to give up at the airport for lack of space and weight allowance. So it was great that he finally made it, and in one piece. Ava also brought me a puppy for "Wolfie", my toy dog. "Baby Wolfie" does indeed bear an uncanny resemblance. I have also had some less soppy presents though - two books, a fiendish puzzle, some curly-wurlies and a 3G phone which is far too complex for me to work! (I spotted this nice "BirthAday" Chinglish in town this morning!) Ava will be in Shenzhen for my birthday this year, and so she gave me her home-made card early. "TinTin" is one of the many names she has for me(!) and, of course, Spielberg's "TinTin" movie is about to be released too. I'm not sure the original TinTin had glasses though? She also gave me a new mobile phone to replace the one I had stolen earlier this month. With gifts, grub, friends and fiancée all helping with the celebratations, I had a very special birthday this year. Ava drew the cartoon above for me - funny enough in itself, but the mental image of being "kissed by a bog" tickled my humour! She also bought me an electronic translator to help me with my Chinese studies which was very generous. Other friends bought me toys and puzzles - people know me so well! Ava's reaction to my reaction on receiving a cute remote controlled car [see photo] was funny, too! I had two birthday cakes, a meal at Pizza Hut, lots of cards and a variety of bits and bobs from the UK too. I'm a lucky boy! |
AuthorPaul Hider lives and works in Kunming (SW China) and regularly updates this blog about his life there. Past blog entries
April 2024
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